Is there such a thing as Blogger Block?

I have been sitting here for hours all of 30 seconds and -- nothing. No ideas.

Ok, I have informed the wife.imp that I am going to let my hair grow (at least until after my sister's wedding in October). I have really red hair and I found (gasp) a few gray strands. I am now on the slow slide to ... whatever it is. All I know is that when red goes gray it looks bad.

However, it will not be a mullet. The front is growing (well I hope the front is growing) as long as the back. This means that I no longer get out of the shower run the towel over my hair twice and scrape my fingers through my hair once. I actually have to run my fingers through my hair 4, maybe 5, times.

Wife.imp and girl.imp have both declared that I need to cut my hair as I have a shaggy look. Yes that was shaggy look, not shaggy locks. My biggest fear is not how I might look in 2 more months, but whether or not the w.imp shaves my scalp while I am sleeping sometime during the next two weeks!

One never knows, if this hair thing goes well, I'll have to get that tattoo and ear piercing! Nothing like getting in on a fad years after it has disappeared!! (honey, you know that I am just kidding about the Tats and piercings...Right?)

I realize this was a lame posting...but it was talking about my hair or posting the poem that prompted my dad to ask me if I was going to jump off of the roof...

B.IMP has a meltdown

After returning from my aunt & uncle's 40th wedding anniversary (g.imp congratulated my aunt on her 40th birthday), we started to settle in for the night.

The imps were bathed and allowed to play for a few minutes until bedtime. Smooth sailing. I was talking with my Elder Sib (ES) and who was on the verge of going to bed when IT happened.

B.imp LOST. IT.

Completely and utterly. Last night's tantrum achieved levels g.imp would be jealous of and also cost b.imp some valuable toys.

B.imp's problem centered on the fact that he did not want to put away his toys, his beloved cars and trucks. After recognizing that b.imp fundamentally could not put away the toys (this was his stance v. 'THE MAN'), we tried to help. Even handed him the toys and set the toy box beside him. All he had to do was move his hand 6" and drop toy.

NOT A CHANCE WHITE BOY

Left with no recourse, as this is not the time to open Pandora's 'Box o'Negotiation' with a two-year-old, we unleashed upon b.imp the dreaded 'Trash Bag o'Donation', Into which toys disappear never to be seen again (except at the local donation center).

More than 1/2 of his beloved cars/trucks shall soon be arriving at new homes in the forthcoming weeks.

All of this was witnessed by ES and as ES has no children at home (In fact, when he married the imps he adopted were on their way into junior high school) and ES has never experienced the joys of raising toddlers! His expression could best be described as:

Uno Chicago Grill, Pizzaria Uno's, East of Chicago, TGI Fridays, Don Parmesan's

Are all restaurants where we shall never suffer through another meal.

Restaurant Hama has now made my list.

First of all, thank you for feeding my imps. If nothing else, we had a nice quiet conversation while the imps ate.

That being said, how is it possible that preparing RAW FISH takes any time at all. How hard is it to take a ball of rice, flatten it on a metal tray, spread the green goop on and slap on a slice of raw fish? Repeat as necessary...

Soup should take longer to ladle into bowl! Putting pre-made salad dressing on a pre-made salad should take longer! Taking chopsticks out of the wrapper and setting the proper grip should take longer!

So how is it possible the wife imp and the imps all got deep fried chicken, salads, soups and my brother and I only got kimchi, oh, and water.

45 minutes and not one whiff of uncooked underwater delicacies!

This is a restaurant the wife.imp and I have been bragging on for over two years. We never fail to take guests to this 'best' of all sushi places in our town.

My night now sucks.

Today's Random Thoughts...

Is it 'normal' for a 21/2 year old to sport a 'stiffy', a 'woody', yes! a full-blown erection. I realize it could be a normal, biological function; full bladder, small body and all but nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, in my past has prepared me to seeing my own boy sporting a 'nail-driver'. I actually had hoped avoid even hearing of a rumor of its existence.
(note: wife imp thinks I am over-reacting slightly blowing things waaaaay out of proportion and would probably let out a disgusted sigh, say something like 'get over it dad', and proceed to tell all her co-workers about my reaction if she reads this post.)



Why is it that the Reds seem to so rarely rise to the occassion recently. I do not even have to watch a game this year. Just tell me two things:

-How many runs did the Reds pitchers give up in inning one?
(they can pitch a no-hitter from inning two on but giving up runs in inning one usually means a loss)
-How many times did the opposing team have someone batting with two outs and two strikes?
(in this situation it is almost a GIVEN that they will score, usually more than twice)

Why is this relevant? Tonight vs. the mostly hapless Dodgers, the Reds pitcher gave up TWO runs in inning one. After 7 innings (with only two more to go) the Reds are down 2 to 0 and the Dodgers pitcher(s) have so far no-hit the Reds.
-Not ONE hit!
FRUSTRATING!!



My older sib is coming for a visit. Which means the following events have been planned:
- we are walking through the woods Sat looking for bowhunting locations for deer season.

The older sib is an avid hunter. Ok, 'hunter' might not be the right word. Outdoorsman would be better. He has bow-hunted for over 10 years and has no kills. No hits even.
This year I am going with him. He has a secret 'weapon.' He is going to pile corn in the, dare I even say it, the 'killing zone'.
So this year along with not bringing home any meat, he is also giving away the veggies!

- we are going to a surprise party (until it occurs no more shall be said)
- we are going jogging.

Elder sib is an avid jogger. We will be up and out around 5 a.m. (I might possibly be drunk by 6:30 a.m. TOO DAMN EARLY folks!)

- I have to work tomorrow. So elder sib gets to fly 600 miles then ride for almost 300 more.

I would have to classify this weekend as more busy than fun...

When being kissed by the imps, should I be worried that they want to grab fistfuls of my hair and ...
Let's just say that I am very uncomfortable around the kids recently...

Filler Post

Nothing much happened today. The Reds lost to a bad Dodger team, blah blah blah. Oh and it was hot.

SO, I have decided to post one of my poems. Just to forewarn folks, I don't do happy and cheerful. I like to walk on the dark side. However, I do not live there. The topics of the poems are not necessarily first hand experiences. That said might I present:

The Daily Grind

"Dear God, would it be such a crime-if I asked you to please stop time?”

While I can still see with the bloom of youth in my eyes
All I ask is time to enjoy one sunrise
I’ve striven to fulfill my filial duty, a hopeless task when trying to live on my meager salary.
Overtime, stress and ulcers are given the most consideration.
To hell with the fact I've never had a honeymoon or vacation!

“Dear God, would it be such a crime if I asked you to please stop time?”

I've a family that I only see when they sleep
But 'tis their waking hours I would cherish and keep
Unable to follow Franklin's advice, I am neither healthy or wealthy nor wise
Will I die before tasting life's pleasures
Can one truly owe so much to Caesar?

“Dear God, would it be such a crime if I asked you to please stop time?”

At last! I've attained the dream.­ Cars we now own! New mortgage on the house!
Yet bills must still need paid and I cannot spend time with friends, family--my spouse!
Is it wrong, cursing the need of money? Is this truly the ‘Land of Milk and Honey?’
Forty hours, five days a week is the standard lie
Now all I ask is to earn enough to bury me when I die!

“Dear God, would it be such a crime if I asked you to please stop time?"

Do you know the difference between being manly and being soft?

I had planned on posting one of my poems, however I discovered a greater need today.

We might need a new pet. Actually we just need a pet, any pet.

We had a cat once...g.imp remembers her. She actually sometimes still cries and tells me she misses the cat. It, the cat, was really not an indoor cat but since we live in a city it could not be an outdoor cat.

So now g.imp and b.imp have taken to adopting ants, however since the 'Great Ant Extermination of '06' they know better than to bring them inside the house.

Worse yet I had to put b.imp to sleep tonight. In order to stop his crying I read him books, played with some toy trucks and pretended my left hand was a kitty cat.

Yes, for over 11/2 hours I had to put my hand on his chest and meow. I had two use two of my fingers to pretend the 'kitty' was tapping his face. During this minor interlude, b.imp would pet my hand/arm and murmur that 'kitty' was so soft.

Yes you read right. My hand/arm as 'kitty' is soft.

Do you know the difference between being manly and being soft?

It is called being a Daddy!

Today...

I was comfortably resting alone in bed (the wife imp was on her way to work) when g.imp came running into the room and tried to apply a 'Flying Half Nelson' while screaming, "I AM NAKED WOMAN!"

Ladies two things a guy does not need in the morning: 1) Over fifty pounds of anything landing on his unprotected (ahem) 'mid-section', 2) It also does not help hearing that mass of weight proclaim to the world at large that she enjoys running around nekkid! (are we raising another Pam Anderson here?)
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On a brighter note, b.imp is using the potty sans hysterics! Of course he is being bribed with semi-sweet choc. morsels.
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I missed the a.m. window to take the imps out to play. I am not awfully anxious to take them out in the near 100 degree afternoon. And since g.imp has had her t.v. privileges revoke--again!--we are now spending the day dusting, sweeping and generally trying to rearrange the clutter.

What did g.imp do to so soon after regaining her t.v. time?

Well, the imps were being babysat yesterday and g.imp let loose with the following compliment toward our sitter: "blah blah blah, you are a big butt!"

Since we are trying to teach the imps to show the proper respect, our sitter sent g.imp to her room. And it would have ended there, except that when the wife imp came home g.imp refused to work through a 'play-by-play' accounting of what got her into trouble. After much prying and some pleading, the wife imp started revoking t.v. privileges. When she took away day four's t.v. time, g.imp managed to 'remember' what was said.

So the end result is that I am not allowed to put anything on the 'hypno-tube' this week. I really think it is time to find a place in the yard for a veggie garden so the imps can spend time 'workin' the dirt' as punishment so daddy can turn on the electronic babysitter if he wants some 'free' time.