Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Advertisement Said It Could be Built in 21/2 Hours

What it actually meant was unless you had an experienced crew of eight, then it really would take 21/2 days to construct the 10x8 shed.

Tonight we have everthing but the trim pieces installed and during this experience I have developed an increased appreciation of the pain women talk about when describing childbirth. Now before anybody starts thinking I am as handy with tools as Tim Taylor, let me say that I had lots of help from my wife, my dad and my nephew.

However when it came to finishing installing the shingles along the upper regions of the shed's roof, I was alone with the hammer (ok, wife.imp stood on the ladder passing up tools etc...). After spending over two hours on the peak of the roof with said peak trying, with amazing success, to split me in twain, I have to wonder how I ever thought Snoopy looked comfy whilst he was sleeping on the top of that doghouse.

Anyway, I absolutely have no problems with any woman saying you have not felt real pain until you have pushed an 8-10 pound bowling ball from between your legs. Because after this afternoon's/evening's task during which, I swear this is true, an 800 lb. building tried to force its way into my ass in some birthing horror story gone awry, I am sitting here more than two hours removed from climbing down off of the roof and can still feel the burning touch of the tile's gravelly surface!

9 comments:

wayabetty said...

Yeah, you should totally send my hubbie an email about this experience since no matter how much I've pleaded/threatened...he will not get a "snip snip"!! I mean, I've pushed out 4 biggest bowling balls, the last being a 10.2 pounder...but still, nope he would not. Can you believe it??!!

Phil said...

My next big project is a yard shed. I'm actually thinking of just doing it from scratch, now that I have all this experience framing my basement. But I'll probably be in over my head, as usual.

dennis said...

betty: he won't jump you when your naked and you want him to get snipped? I hate to point out the obvious but how much protection do you need? LOL good luck with your future arguments on this subject!

phil: If you can build it from scratch you will be amongst the constellation of my heroes!

Diana said...

you know I don't mean to laugh at you but the visual on this is hilarious.

I hope you had a good Father's Day Dennis. Post pics of this rapist shed of yours, will ya?

That Chick Over There said...

Personally, I'm not even allowing myself the visual.

Mama of 2 said...

I have forgotten just how funny you can be. Thanks for the visual and the laugh.

Glad to hear that you were successful in getting your shed erected.

Diana said...

good pun mama!

Dad Stuff said...

Congrats on the shed.
Now you need to get a lock and turn it into Dad's own clubhouse.

MdG said...

You truly have a way with words!

Gotta love a shed man!