For dinner the imps decided to add their own flair.
Wife.Imp,
Honey, do you remember that old, teflon coated saucepan we used to have? Well, we still have it but once the fumes clear out of the kitchen I will have to get rid of it. No, the problem is not with the pan itself. The problem is that my attention span rivals that of a monkey on drugs. Here I was getting the pot roast ready in the slow cooker and then I noticed the breakfast dishes.
Which really was not too difficult as we have the same counter space as Barbie's Dreamhouse. Well, the dirties were starting to pile up and I started pushing them around to make more room when I heard a hissing from the stovetop. I ignored it, because how could anything be hissing?
ALL the food was in the slow cooker. Still more hissing...
Yes, you guessed it. I melted the handle of the meat fork into the saucepan.
'But honey!' (yes, I can hear what you are thinking) 'But honey, I can understand melting the handle to the saucepan. But into the saucepan..?'
Yes, Into The Saucepan. I was not aware but the plastic handles on utensiles nowadays will run exactly like melted butter when heated.
Anyway, here is hoping your Monday at work has been moving along smoothly! If you need to, call me on the cell phone. I will be shopping later this a.m.
love,
me
Imagine wife.imp suggested that she would not mind a snack (late nite) and continues to ponder the subject, finally deciding on popcorn. Even though I was not (apparently) one of the snack items considered, I trotted out to la cocina and tossed a packet of popcorn in the microwave.
Ok, I need to digress here. Yes, I have been cooking since the tender age of 12. I started cooking popcorn in a pot on the stove. I do know what a microwave is....
I knew I was in trouble when:
1- after starting the microwave I started pouring soda in a glass and decided I need not rush the process as the timer was still showing 61/2 minutes.
2- I finished pouring the soda and realized there was less noise in the kitchen than what one usually associates with popcorn popping.
3- After the timer beeped and there were no sounds, no smells of cooked or burnt corn kernels, I realized what happened. Instead of pressing the 'popcorn' preset button on the blamed machine, I actually told it to defrost 11/2 pounds of ground beef!!
I believe this actually ties (for total amount of stupidity) the time (I was 14) when I was making a Lemon Meringue pie from scratch and discovered we did not have one graham cracker in the house. However we did have a full, unopened box of Ritz All-Purpose Crackers...
So what are your food faux pas?
As we all know, I foolishly made a boast and of course made an even bigger mistake of forgetting this incident in rushing pell-mell to make this boast.
Yes, we here at the Playground are finding ourselves in the uncomfortable and rare occasion of having to admit our fallibility.
What, you might ask, what prompts this astounding admission? Weeell, it all began with my preparations for wife.imp's departure. I knew that with her gone, I would have to have a menu for the week. So, I decided on a pot roast on Sunday.
I do pot roasts very well. In fact, my pot roasts are only bested by my 'world-famous' sausage stuffing. So, now that we have established that this 'goof' is food related and that I cook a mean roast, what was the problem?
I blame the garlic.
Yes, I love me some garlic. Garlic, pepper and onions. If ever a seasoning was a divine gift to humanity, Garlic was the gift. If you have not noticed garlic has a strong presence. It does not merely announce itself, it demands an accounting.
So, after infusing (yes, I said infusing, get over it!) the roast with this divine presence, I loaded up the slow cooker and wandered out of the room, certain that the week was kicked off in the proper manner. With Good Food!
In my defense, the power cord from the slow cooker is white. So is the cord from our rice cooker. So, after lovingly (yes, I said lovingly, get over it!) preparing the roast and plugging in the rice cooker, I went back to puttering around the house.
Now, one might ask, 'Did he not notice the food was not cooking? Did he not realize that the imps did not prefer raw meat at dinner?'
Well, yes, I knew this. However the scent of garlic followed me throughout the house and at times seemed to grow stronger. Hence, I believed the roast was cooking and that we would be eating on schedule!
Imagine my surprise/chagrin when I went to test the meat/veggies and found everything sitting uncooked, warmed merely to room temperature.
So, what meal did the imps start the week off with?
Nutella and Jam, followed with 'Cookies and Cream' ice-cream.
Yummie!!
photo cribbed from 'haverchuk.blogspot.com'
