Monday, June 30, 2008

May I Speak To the Man of the House?

Unknown Telemarketer: May I speak to the person who makes the .... decisions for the household?

me: That's me until wife.imp gets home.

ummm, This is Mr. Bush? Mr. ... Bush?

me: Yup! That's me!

ummm, Mr. Bush, is Mrs. Bush home?

me: nope. If she was, she would be answering the phone to take this call. But she's not, so I am free to answer the call and make any decisions that seem necessary at the moment.

uhmmm, ok. Mr. Bush, I am blah blah blah (insert name and sales pitch and sales item here) and if you take advantage now, we can install it in up to 4 rooms for free!

me: Suhweet!! That sounds great (in this case they were wanting to sell me a digital satellite subscription)!! My brother and my father have those tv's that have the super large screens and are super thin. The picture quality is fantastic! All digital!

so, your brother and your father have ___ digital satellite service?

me: no, no, no. They have those flat screen tv's with liquid digitalized thingimabobsy tech. The pictures are incredible and the screens are like 60"!

and they do have digital satellite service?

me: no! they have cable. I think they have cable. One of them might have satellite. We had satellite growing up but dad took down the dish and installed an antenna, so I think he would have to have cable and the antenna as a backup...Boy, digital satellite and in 4 rooms!

yes sir, that is correct and --

me: and we get free hookup with four digi-liquid-techy tvs with it? Cool! I cannot wait to tell the wife what a deal we got! I cannot wait to get rid of this old tv that runs on cable...

um sir..that hookup is for 4 rooms only

me: I know. 4 tvs. Of course we would want them in separate rooms. I mean that would be pretty silly to have 4 tvs all in one room!

uh...actually sir we would only be providing the hookups for the tvs in the 4 rooms. We would not actually be providing you with 4 new tvs.

me: no tvs?

no sir.

me: if you're not providing me with the tvs, then why would I want to have 4 more rooms wired for them?

uhmmm, well, sir, if you were to buy additional tv's you could then hook them into the outlets in any of the four rooms.

me: yeeees...I see...

uhm, now sir, if I could just verify the information that we have....

me: Uhmmm, you'll have to call back and speak to my wife. She makes all the decisions for this kind of service in our house. Thank you.


Maria said...

Bing is away on a business trip and I sorely miss her because she just says, "Please take us off your list" and hangs up. I sit there and listen and then act all lame but end up refusing and wasting all of our time.

And maybe they deserve that, yes?

Diana said...

LOL! I wonder what the telemarketer said about you after the hang-up?????

~nOe~ said...


MdG said...

I *so* wish I was that quick!!

dennis said...

wife.imp will actually start speaking in broken english, pretending to be the hired help if she does not wish to speak to anyone...

Dad Stuff said...

It's fun to mess with them a little now and then.

Next time listen quietly to them give their entire sales pitch and then say, "OK, I'm back now."

That Chick Over There said...

You=not right.

But in a good way.

wayabetty said...

THAT was classic!! Aren't you on the "no call" list or you missed the boat on that one too.

MomNlovNit said...

LOL. Ok, that was just what I needed this morning!