Easter Egg Decorating

Soccer is here!

I know...I Know...we tried this with girl.imp and had her leading the entire class singing Christmas Carols and picking dandilions by the last class.

BUT we are talking about boy.imp here.  Granted he is 1/2 of his mother, but he never sits still, walks when he can run or just stops vibrating.  He'll have to like running and kicking a ball, right?

Right!  He had a blast!  running in circles, kicking the ball, running on and off the field for his water...just what we had hoped for.

Then came that last trip to the sideline

b.imp:  I want to go home

wife.imp: why?

b.imp: i'm hungry...dad, can we go to Mc Donald's for lunch?

me: but we still have practice!  you need to get back on the field!

b.imp: But I'm huuuuuungry!  I want lunch!

me: It's 10:30!  Don't make me delete all the pictures I have been taking...

I got it! I got it! I got it!

So it had been relatively quiet all day.  Then girl.imp arrives home from school, rushes upstairs (front door left wide open) and announces to the world in general that she needs to use the facilities (door left wide open so that we can visually verify she did indeed lower the seat??)

So she decides that it is time to play with our epileptic cat (one seizure since adopting the wee beastie just before Christmas).  However no toy is immediately apparent so I offer the following advise.  

"Why don't you get a penny and slide it across the floor?"

Our cat loves playing with coins, rings...anything that slides on our floors.  Just this morning I found her chasing one of my rings under the dining room table and chairs.  The ring (according to my memory) had been resting on the bathroom sink...

So g.imp gets a dime and launches it across the room.  The cat launches herself across the room in pursuit and crashes into the hall closet's sliding doors, rebounds down the hall and ends up somewhere in the bowls of our bathroom.  G.imp then follows the cat in and cannot find the dime.  In the meantime the cat races past my feet and hides under the curtains.

me: have you checked her mouth for the dime?

g.imp: her mouth?

me: yep.  you might want to hurry before she swallows it...

g.imp: ahhhhhhhhhh! (racing toward the cat)

I love playing with the imps!!

Recent Events at 'the Playground'

So here at the Playground life has continued to move forward, even though the blog process has been somewhat stagnant (my apologies).

Wife.Imp's youngest sister is stopping by for a brief visit and today I took her out for a road trip (ok, I gave her the keys to my car and told her that she gets to drive me around). Because the one thing I have learned when visiting wife.imp's family is that if you have no means of going out and about, then things can get boring.

SIL brought gifts from the family, of which a baseball hat with an Iron Man logo on it was given to boy.imp. Since getting the hat boy.imp wears it around the house fighting the 'bad guys'. The fights are terrible, with lots of shouting, jumping and falling down. However b.imp always gains the upper hand with a knock-out blow. Which he has to describe to me.

'I hit him in the eye!' 'I hit three of them in the teeth!' 'I hit him in the chest and two of them in the eye!' 'I hit five in a row here!' (this is where boy.imp points to the lower abdominal/higher thigh area of his body and will continue to point there until you have viewed the area of damage and acknowledged his fighting prowess...)

Concerning aging...
I went to my s0mewhat-annual (ok, 1st time in 3 years) checkup today because I felt I had enough info to make the doctor's effort in the examination more than just routine. I have a very nice back rash (the result of a hair-removal waxing--Oddly enough when I found out a year or so ago that I did have hair on my back, I have never been able to put that thought out of my mind. It actually bothered me. I finally pulled the trigger and it barely tingled. It felt like someone had spread masking tape on my back and pulled it off. But the rash kind of puts a damper on repeat procedures), a pain in one of my knees and a phantom ache in one of my arms.

I also had (the first of what is now an annual event (yea me!)) the prostate exam! I am not certain, but I am fairly postive that procedures conducted in the family-care doctor's office should include the patient's continued ability to, oh say, breathe during said procedures!

Working in Wet Weather

I do work on the road...or in the case of some private lanes, off of the road. Yep, sometimes the homeowner merely carves a path from the road to the residence without placing any foundation in the newly formed lane.

aaaaand in dry or merely damp weather, this is not an issue. However there are times when work and weather conspire to make driving to some residences more of an adventure :(click on the photos to see the 'life-sized' image in all it's glory!):

Of course, I am sure the parents and teachers enjoy seeing my car roll through the school parking lot the next morning when I drop girl.imp off for her classes!!

as seen at 'the Playground':

girl.imp was naked and supposed to be waiting in the bathroom for me to start her shower, but instead she found my felt, cowboy hat (re: wet weather gear) and walked up between me and the game on t.v. to perform a 'hip pounding' dance to the halftime music. The good news is that the hat was held, at all times, infront of her upper to mid-hip region.

The bad news is that with all the rain expected this week, I still have to wear that hat...

Tuesdays Mondays

Sometimes Mondays are not the bad cliche of the week. Take Tuesday. I got girl.imp off to school -- late because I got up (a tad) latish and girl.imp moves slower than Grandma Moses with crippling arthritis in the mornings. Honestly, if her day could be pushed back to start after the 'Crack of Noon' then she would be much happier with the world.

Sooo we got to school and found that traffic in the drop-off lane was backed up almost to the entrance of the parking lot. It seems everybody was late today. The good news is that even though g.imp arrived 10 minutes after the bell, she had a 15-minute grace period to allow for those students who are on buses to arrive. So after dropping g.imp off, I sat in the parking lot and waited.

and waited...

All the while knowing that I had an appointment to keep some at 10:30a.m. almost 96 miles north and east of the school. I made it by 11:00a.m. On the way there, I stopped off at a McDonald's where my cousin and her husband manage and found that he was having a really, really bad morning.

In the few minutes I was inside the store, the window cashier gave out incorrect change 2x, the front counter cashier was struggling to make $15 of change with no fives (oddly she did have some tens and ones) and I managed to spill a large cup of coffee on the front counter.

I later found out that boy.imp refused to wear his winter coat, preferring instead to wear a heavy cotten hoodie out in the snow.

And yes, I do believe that there was a full moon Monday night...

When it's punishment time at the Playground

Yes it occassionally happens. One of the imps will act out, smart off or generally cause havoc at 'the Playground' and a punishment will ensue (we have to because it spelled out midway through the fourth chapter of the official 'Idiot's Guide of How to be the Best Joy Sucker in 12 Easy Steps' manual).

Our nieghbors use the same relative technique, namely taking away something from the imps that they truly enjoy; video games, t.v., and/or various electronic devices.

However, that is not how WE roll here at 'the Playground'! Here we shout things like:
*Fine, don't wear your shoes to the car!
*Put that book down!
*No! I don't want a hug/kiss!

Yep, nothing can get the imps attention like depriving them of the essentials.

By the by, I was wandering through the house and realized how much JK Rowling has invaded our space.
There were open copies of Harry Potter books in the following rooms:
1)Upstairs bath - ...Half-Blood Prince
2)Imps' bedroom - ...Deathly Hallows
3)Family Room- ...Chamber of Secrets
4)DVD Player- ...Goblet of Fire
5)Car CD Player- ...Deathly Hallows

I really need the new season of Dr. Who to start...or Major League Baseball, either one....

Call me 'olde fashioned'

...but we did not do the HP Nativity scene. I just could not picture placing a baby Harry in his crib with a menacing Lord Voldemorte hovering over him about to cast the Killing Curse under the Christmas tree next to baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph...

So what did happen on Christmas? Let's just say that Santa nearly missed our house because the imps were up until well after midnight..!!!

What did Santa eventually bring the imps?

boy.imp got a brand new Bicycle!!
girl.imp (who hates the idea of 2-wheeled transportation) got a brand new Trikke!! (So did Dennis)

However the best Christmas in Ohio was not celebrated by the Imps. No it was reported in the Columbus Dispatch and desribed how Gunnery Sgt. Shawn Delgado of the 3rd Battalion, 25th Marines of Lima Company spent over $4,000 of his own money (re: Credit Card purchases) to ensure that children who otherwise would have been berift of any Christmas cheer would have happy memories...

Despite what we've read about abuses in the military in recent years, I can only hope that quality men and women (like Gunnery Sgt. Shawn Delgado) continue to volunteer for military service.

I also hope that I might learn to keep track of my keys. Yes gentle readers, last night, while parked in my parents' driveway (with a house full of relatives) I locked my keys in my car, with the engine running. What happened to the spare set? They were locked in the back of the car.

Here is the conversation that made all this possible:
me: hey (wife.imp), do you still have the extra set of car keys?
wife.imp: ummm, yes.

Perrrrrfect! With the spare keys safely in wife.imp's pockets, I proceeded to load the car with all the imp's gifts, our stuff and the leftovers we were taking home from the Christmas feast (there was a snafu on the food bit tho'). I then started the car and locked the doors (knowing the spare key was safely in wife.imp's hands and not wanting to tempt the stray deer or migratory birds that might be wandering near the parents' driveway) and went happily inside to monitor the imps as they prepared to go home.

At the appointed time (that moment where the chaos drops and the imps are most mallable to the idea of leaving) I asked wife.imp for the spare keys.

wife.imp: they're in the black bag
me: They're where?
w.imp: in the black bag by the piano.
me: umm, it's not by the piano...
w.imp: yes it is. It's right over there by the piano.
me: no it's not. It's in the back of the car
w.imp: no, it's not
me: yes it is
w.imp: why is in the car? I told you the car did not need to be warmed up...
me: you told me you had the keys...
w.imp: I did, in the black bag.
me: you did not say anything about a black bag when I asked you if you had the keys.
w.imp: that was a general question...
me: no, I was quite specific, "Do you have the keys?" Specific. (leaning over and checking the front of her pants) Hey, what's this?"
w.imp: I don't keep keys in my pockets. It's uncomfortable."
My.Sister: Yes, they are uncomfortable. They're always poking your legs."
me: (ignoring my helpful sister) You did not mention the black bag...

anyway, despite all my wriggling and attempting to lesson the blame (or at least spread it far and wide, the fact remains that I did leave my keys in the ignition with the car running with the doors locked in a rural community where the likelihood of theft remains at a remarkably small percentage...

Happy Holidays!

I went to my quarterly blood draw yesterday

and because the imp's babysitter had a dental appt for one of her boys, boy.imp went with me.
Yep, boy.imp got to watch daddy bleed into a clear plastic bag for about 15 minutes.

his comment to wife.imp last night whilst they were discussing the event was:
b.imp: I will never, never, never, ever, ever, ever...

then he fell asleep because boy.imp is apparantly suffering from flu-like symptoms. Wife.imp also fell asleep and I watched the OSU men's baskeball team get dismantled by a very impressive squad from North Carolina.

Girl.Imp finished reading the last Harry Potter book and wants to start with the beginning of the series and work her way through. She has also found the joy of books on tape!! She now prefers to sit next to the cd player upstairs and shuns tv and the computer (so now we are sans Hannah Montana and You.Tube in our house)

Does anybody know if/when Dr. Who and Torchwood's next seasons will be broadcast in the USA airwaves?

Have I mentioned that we have corrupted the imps? Because of us they know most of the NPR daily shows, including Car Talk and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

They just love 'How Things Are Made', 'Dirty Jobs', and 'Mythbusters' on the Discovery Channel and they would get to see more American Chopper if Paul, Sr. would censor his thought processes a tad more regularly.

So, Santa is bringing some Boss gifts for the imps this year (that's right girl.imp, daddy has been talking with Santa and I know what he is bringing you! hahahahahaha)

Into Autum...

Again let me apologize for not having posted recently. The Happy Birthday wishes for boy.imp were appreciated and passed on to the lucky lad.

Since my last post, I have suffered through a severe stomach flu, the Buckeyes lost and my grandmother passed.

Not to trivialize her death, but she had been hanging on for weeks and was not anticipated to be with us for the new year. Among everything else, her cancer returned and her arthritis was severe. The funeral was Wednesday and it is believed she is much happier now.

Anyway the imps are both happy, healthy and apparantly wide awake.

It's November already?

Today is boy.imp's birthday.

(thank you for those kind thoughts)

Last night wife.imp realized that his birthday was upon us and we had not bought him a gift, a cake, anything. So she left it up to me to wrap his gift (a Christmas gift substituted nicely as his birthday gift) and to make dinner reservations.

Problem 1: While in college I roomed with my brother. We exchanged gifts that were stapled into brown paper bags. Oddly, neither of us were put off by the 'wrapping'. Probably because we knew that we were just going to tear it off and throw it away and that should we try to do a nice job, it never looked nice. That and we had no $$.

I did wrap the gift and wife.imp did her best not to stand too close to the offending tape job as the imps tore it apart. Which was rather nice of her because she does a fantastic job with straight edges and clean lines. My effort covered the entire box (this time) and had edges and the cut meandered like the slow moving Big Muddy from edge to edge.

Problem2: I took us to a restaurant that the imps used to love, but now prefer Bob Evans and McDonald's instead. The main reason for going was not the food, which was typically adequate, it was the Birthday tadoo that the staff puts on; yelling, cheering, getting the rest of the patrons to join in the celebration.

However, we merely witnessed this hubbub at another table. Our server, apparently thought boy.imp too young to stress for (yes, I did inform him that we were there to celebrate a birthday). I, in return, felt that a large tip was too much to stress for...

Wife.Imp -- the Day After

I was back at work and wife.imp needed to take the imps to Saturday Mass and the dinner after. Two notable events occurred:

1- the fam was sitting behind an elderly couple in which the husband was more or less bald. During the middle of mass, boy.imp became fascinated by the play of the lights off of the man's pate. Before wife.imp realized, boy.imp had reached out and run his finger down the back of the man's head...top to bottem (my guess was that boy.imp was tracing the play of the light across the shiny, bald scalp).

2- dinner was rather inexpensive, however there was a slight push for $$ donations at the dessert table (dessert being cupcakes and cookies). Wife.imp gave the poor child $10 and got 1 cupcake and 1 cookie.

wife.imp: excuse me--where's my change? (she wanted to give a smaller donation)
helper: there's no change
wife.imp: what do you mean there's no change? I want my change!
girl.imp: well, you put money in and there's your dessert
wife.imp: But that's $10 dollars! For a cupcake and a cookie!

The Church gladly accepted our family's generous donation....

******

At times, I have to take my bad knees and walk across somebody's farm field in order to reach an equitable arrangement (re: I stay employed and the people I work for have more work to do. This is a good arrangement).

SOOoooo, whilst we were traipsing over 20 acres of hills and forest, I dropped my cell phone. My new(ish) cell phone that is what keeps me connected to the world (just two weeks ago girl.imp read me 30 minutes of Harry Potter whilst I was driving home).

I discovered this loss approx. 30 minutes after leaving in my car to go home, and after 30 minutes back and 30 more minutes of trekking through fields, jumping creeks and staggering through brambles in a forest--I FOUND IT!!

Life is good!

Sorry about your breakfasts...

I was on my way home last night and had stopped at one of the various 'local' truckstops for a good pee. While enjoying the moment the sound that brings the odor arrived first at my ears then my nose.

ZIIIIP

With my eyes watering, I stumbled to the sink then out the door wondering just what one has to eat to chase someone from a restroom the comfortably stands/seats at least 12 people..??

****

I also got a phone call:
girl.imp: daddy? did you do the 20 pushups that I asked you to do
(in the background wife.imp is shouting: 'don't bother him with that, tell daddy what you told me)

Uhoh!

girl.imp: I, uh, I told mommy that iwasmakingoutwiththe
me: what? making out with who?
(was g.imp necking with the boys at school already? I don't have my 'Cans O'Whup Ass' ready!! Geez Louise!!)
g.imp: ItoldmommythatIwasmakingoutwiththespoon
me: The spoon? That's all? ---I mean why would you tell mommy...What does making out with the spoon mean?
g.imp: It means I was kissing the spoon.
me: Kissing the spoon? Oh, well then I would prefer you told mommy that you kissed the spoon.


Daddy has spoken! (and it was a job well done if I say so myself!)

I pulled away from the driveway with both imps screaming...

...and I did not feel the slightest bit guilty (sorry honey). I was not feeling the slightest bit sorry because I was heading to a 'parent mandatory' school function (on an empty stomach--but to be fair I started dinner a tad too late).

I was running a little late because wife.imp got caught in traffic and was delayed (but no phone call to let me in on the new timing--I know, I know. If the situation was reversed wife.imp would have read me the riot act).

So why were the imps crying? Because I thought they would have to come with me and instead of a gourmet salmon meal, I was taking them to McDonalds and as we walked out the front door, wife.imp pulled up...

...and I left her standing there in the driveway with both imps screaming and wondering if the neighbors were going to call Children Services...

I forgot the 'Code'

at a reading of the humorist David Sedaris, I forgot the 'Code' and embarrassed wife.imp. Yes, this is the 'Code' that is hardwired into women's DNA and so baffles us knuckle-draggers.

This is the 'Code' that women use during arguments that grants them perfect recall of the tiniest details of some ancient transgression that, at the time, barely blipped the radar but during the heat of the moment--total victory.

This is the 'Code' that allows complex and lengthy discussions to occur between women with the twitch of an eyebrow, a look, pursed lips or the way a woman curls her hair around her fingers.

wife.imp noticed a women wearing a mini-skirt and breathed the following comment into my ear:
You know, it's true what they say that a woman should not wear a mini-skirt past 40.
me (loudly): Oh, I don't know
wife.imp: no it's true
me (loudly): I mean look at Teri Hatcher. She's over 40 and can wear a mini-skirt

Wife.imp put several more inches of empty space between us at this comment. I was later to learn that there was a women who appeared to be over the age of 40 who was wearing a mini-skirt AND standing right next to us...

I did manage, however, to keep my mouth firmly shut as a woman in fishnet stockings in the row behind us managed to inform all present how proud she was that she could afford MEMBERSHIP to the local museum (so can about anyone living in our city) and then she spent 30 minutes going over the plot (badly recalling its high points) of the latest episode of 'The Office'.
I have to admit that I actually watched that episode and if it were anything like how she described the action, I would never watch another episode. Happily I can admit that the show was much, much better than her description (and I am not really a fan).

*****
boy.imp: Mommy, am I Filipino?
wife.imp: yes, you are.
boy.imp: is Daddy brown?
wife.imp: no, daddy is not brown.
boy.imp: Then he's not my daddy...

Wife.Imp called it a teaching moment...

Last week girl.imp brought home a permission slip for a field trip to the local zoo (www.colszoo.org/ -- I really recommend the flying foxes [RE: really really big bats from the Philippines]) and I filled out the forms and sent in the money, and apparently the money necessary to be a volunteer for the trip.

I was working Tuesday when wife.imp calls me and asks what my plans for Wednesday were (my work is fluid as far as the schedule goes and sometimes I have work weeks in advance sometimes my plans change while going to work). Nothing was planned for Wednesday.

wife.imp: Oh, good! You just volunteered to chaperone g.imp's field trip tomorrow!
me: (I cannot repeat what I said)
w.imp: well, you apparently filled out the permission slip and paid to be a volunteer.
me: (realizing that extra blank did look a little funny) I did?
w.imp: and guess what I got in g.imp's school folder today? "Dear Mrs. Imp. Thank you for volunteering blah blah blah.."
me: (I cannot repeat what I said)
w.imp: I thought you did not mean to do this. THIS is a teaching moment and I got to emphasize to g.imp that you really should read everything before you sign it...


Sooooo, at the zoo today, I get girl.imp and 3 others young ladies in my group.
I texted my concerns to wife.imp:

me: ...there are 4 girls in my group. What happens if I have to visit the WC?
w.imp: well, you take dem in there with you!
(imagine lots of chuckling and laughing here!)
me: do you know that name of a good public defender?

So we were eating out of 'The Bucket' for dinner last night...

Wife.Imp: Where's the cole slaw? Why don't we have any cole slaw?
Me: I got mac'n'cheese instead?
Wife.Imp: Why would you do that? We always get cole slaw! We get cole slaw even before we get--we get that! (pointing at the mac'n'cheese)
Me: (trying to salvage any dignity) Imps, this is where your mom should show that she is thankful to have a big dinner. (It didn't work).
Wife.Imp: (grumbling - giving me my last chance) Do we have any coke?
(no you criminals--the soda pop)
Me: Nope, no coke...we have water..?





















picture from: http://members.cox.net/lendys/lendys5.htm

Boy.Imp is going to be soooo disappointed this year

Before we get to that, I arrived home around 11:45pm from work last night and found boy.imp asleep on the couch cushions on the floor of the family room while wife.imp cruised the internet. What has been the usual sleeping arrangement (both imps sharing girl.imp's bed) appears to have come to a crashing halt last night when girl.imp kicked b.imp out of her room and slammed the door shut.

But it worked out in the end as both imps were asleep, I went and tucked b.imp into g.imp's bed!

hahahaha--and woke up this a.m. with him squeezed inbetween myself and wife.imp. This arrangement is b.imp's preferred as he gets the middle and I end up 1/2 on and 3/4 off the edge of the mattress.

---

So I am driving b.imp to the sitter's this a.m. and he starts the following conversation:
b.imp: Daddy, guess what? While mommy was talking with Ate Ayi, she took my shirt off and she took my pants off and my underwear...

me: mmmhmmmm

b.imp: and then she almost put me in the shower with my socks on!!

me: wha? hahahaha

b.imp: ok, be we should not laugh at her anymore. She'll get grumpy again...

Back to Christmas Gifts that are not to be:

Grandma took one look at this idea for a Christmas gift for boy.imp and harshed on my ongoing high:

NO WAY!!

So instead of boy.imp getting this fabulous Engine from www.DiscoveryStore.com, I'll have to settle for getting him a Red Rider BB gun!

13 Years of Love and Familial Bliss Today

(although, if asked, I'd swear only a couple of years have passed since we were wed - Yes world! Life with wife.imp has been that fun!!)

All the Playground is a Stage and...

The Players:

Eldest Younger Sister (EYS)
Our Dad (OD)
Eldest Brother (EB)
Me
Our Nephew (EYS eldest son = ON)
Sister-In-Law (EB's wife = SIL)

The Plot: A woman with too much time on her hands, and a telephone, decides to 'rearrange' her eldest brother's summer plans...

Watch closely folks there are 5 phone calls in this little play and we will hear but 2. Yet you shall be offered a glimpse into the inner workings of our humble company.

Call 1:
me: hey, whatcha doin'?
EB: not much...EYS called and wants to send ON here for the summer
me: good! you'll have fun.
EB: Uh, we're never home. I told her that SIL and I are never home and that ON would have more fun if he stayed with you.
me: huh-uh. I already took the hunter safety test with him. It's your turn. As a matter-of-fact it is time for you to step up and be a Good Uncle.
EB: Are you kidding me? What's a 10-year-old kid going to do here? SIL works 14-16 hours a day and I'm posted in Wisconsin! Who's going to be home with ON
me: well...
EB: I'm going to call EYS back and tell her that ON will have to stay with you.
me: with us? what's he going to do with us? We live in Ohio. If he's going to stay with us he might as well stay home. What he needs is a change of scenery. If he's not going to be home, then he really needs to go to a different State. Besides, why didn't you just tell her 'No'?
EB: Because EYS called me to get SIL's phone number and then called her with this idea. SIL called me after and asked how we were going to manage this.
me: Yeah, did I mention the time that EYS called and told me that she just signed me up for a Hunter Safety course with ON? Apparently she was just pulling my chain and after our conversation she had to scramble to actually get us signed up for this class.
EB: Yeah, well anyway I am going to call EYS and straighten her out about this...

A short while later I was at our parent's house and mentioned this call to OD. He thought it would be great fun to call EB yank on his chain for a while:

Call 2:
OD: Hey, I just got off the phone with your sister and she wants to know if I can bring ON up to your house in three weeks.
(everyone in the house is trying very hard not to laugh too loudly as this call is taking place on speaker phone)
EB: She called..?
OD: Yes. So you need to make sure there is something going on for ON when he gets there.
EB: I can't believe she called you too! I need to call her....What did she tell you?
OD: (trying very hard to stop laughing) Actually she didn't call. Your brother is here and he told me about your phone call. I'm still trying to figure out...
EB: (ranting about not being home...)
OD: I'm still wondering why you didn't just tell her 'No'?
EB: Why would she call and tell us this?
OD: She was pulling your leg. ON is not going anywhere. He's supposed to be mowing my lawn this summer. In fact, ON was here just a few days ago trying to figure out how much money he was going to make this summer.
EB: You know she called me first to get SIL's number then she called SIL and told her that ON was going to stay the summer with us.
OD: I heard.
EB: I can't believe she did that! I mean, nobody is going to be here! What's he supposed to do here all day?
OD: Well, he could sit in your kitchen and watch that small t.v. mounted under the cupboards.
EB: Yeah, well, he could do that. But for 10 hours a day? I need to call her and straighten her out.
OD: You realize that she was just pulling your leg! There is no way ON is going to spend the summer with you. By the way your brother is over here falling off the couch. Thinks this is the funniest thing he's ever heard.
EB: But, why would she think that was funny?

Obviously EB has lived far enough from us for so long he has forgotten what is like to deal with members of our family! I only wish I could have been around for that 5th phone call between OD and EYS!