So a lot is going on around the Blog world--but not much at the Playground

Diana at Stuck In Elmo's world has tried to juggle being both a mom and a career woman. While we have been enormously entertained by stories people in her office (I hesitate to call them co-workers because they never seem to do any work), we here at the Playground certainly hope Diana is soon afflicted with office mates that know how chew gum and walk at the same time.

Sweatpantsmom recently was spoiled by her husband on her birthday, making the rest of us men out there look waaaay bad. Come on Dude! at least one of your love notes could have been a demand for 'hot monkey sex!'

Betty at WAYA and Tony at Creative-Type Dads are about to single-handedly make KFC's stock soar into the stratosphere.

The contest to detail the worst pregnancy story over at Suburban Turmoil has just about driven me right into my doctor's office to demand the 'little procedure' that will unarm my little soldiers.

Radioactive Girl recently found that besides sharing space and sweating with the other ladies in her gym the the fine print on her membership contract also might sometimes mean that she could be expected to share the showers...

Izzy is throwin some love to the Pope for gettin' all up in the grills of those video game makers!

Mother Goose Mouse reminded us recently that parents sometimes lose their heads and we, possibly maybe, might want not to throw the first stone...

I would mention Chag at Cynical Dad or Dad Gone Mad, but they are both slowly losing their minds and the only question is will their imps graduate from high school first..?

Why am I recapping posts from other sites, other than this being a weak attempt to prove that I do read other posts?

Because It is the latter end of the week and I.Have.Nothing. No ideas and it is already noon.

So I thought I might touch on subjects that I do not normally address. Then I remembered wife.imp's final admonition to me when I started this blog...'Don't Embarrass Me'

So that left me pretty much handcuffed. I mean sure wife.imp's family in the Philippines reads this post and wife.imp's co-workers read this (hi gals!) and I can see things like discussing personal matters, politics, religion might be somewhat offputting...

SO I thougth this a.m. that I would talk about sex....Then after two cups of coffee I thought, 'No, why embarrass myself?'

My Apologies to Radioactive Girl. The Picture of the Turkey was Great! The Bird looked perfect! Well almost perfect, since it had a name and all...

I felt it needed a personality...

The freak Geek in Me actually speaks

As the new Vice-President of AGPAAS (see Jenny's post 'No Kidding' on the Sept. 4 blog over at Mama Drama. Feel free to use the link on this page), I feel it is time to use my newfound position of authority to improve the intellectual dialogue over here at the playground.

To that end (and I know this conversation was a bit premature as I had not yet received confirmation of my new position with AGPAAS) I decided to open an intellectually stimulating conversation with wife.imp Tuesday night:

me: So do you prefer the episode (M*A*S*H) with Radar only or with Klinger only?
wife.imp: huh, aren't they both the same?
me: (well yeah, except one is semi-psychic and the other is a cross-dresser)...ok how about with Col. Potter v. Col. Blake?
wife.imp: Potter. Blake was just too goofy...I do like Winchester better than that other one...
me: Frank Burns?
wife.imp: yes. He just seems too -- incompetent -- to be a 'real' surgeon.

Yes, we had that conversation. Yes I have not only corrupted the wife.imp to the point she is a baseball fanatic (read: A real Reds fan -- apologies to Chag but if your gonna be a fan, be a fan of a team that started pro ball, not the team that buys it every season) :)

Do you think chag picked up on the mid-market jealously there?

Anywho, I have mentioned before how wife.imp has actively sought out baseball on the radio, sets football on t.v. (without my asking) and even sat through a Dr. Who marathon! It seems now I have her hooked on M*A*S*H Yes, I know this to be true because I have watched her absently flip the channels seeking out this show. I have such a good life here at the playground!

However this is not the worst/best topic we have covered recently. After flipping through 30 odd channels the other night, I popped in the first LOTR movie. About midway through the 'good wizard' and the 'bad wizard' fight (I know...I know just prop your eyelids open a few moments more and I promise you we'll move on). About mid-fight wife.imp asks a leading question about the 'bad wizard's' motivation.

Talk about an open door! The Geek in me could not help but surface and smother all my best intentions to keep the answer short!
Thing is, wife.imp managed to stay awake through my discourse!

Ok, moving on to the last topic of senseless conversation that has recently enthralled us:

Has anybody else lost all respect for Sally Forth as a decision maker? I mean we actually will make tsking sounds and emit moans of discuss with every career decision this 'woman' makes! wife.imp has been driven to such levels of frustration as to actually lecture me (preaching to the choir) and threaten to write the cartoonist to vent her frustration!

Quite honestly I would be happy to sign that letter because he has turned a strong-minded, career-woman into a parody of Walter Mitty (the Walter Mitty at the beginning of the book but without the daydreams). I am even finding that Blondie is a better model of a career woman!

Stalling days 1 and 2

Diana over at Stuck In Elmo's World has a wonderful post on how she met her Hubby. I am afraid that I am one of those who promised that if she posted her story, I would post mine. However I do not yet have anything written. But that probably will not fly for Diana because she is already harassing warning me that it is my turn to ante up.

So while we are waiting to hear the tale of how I tricked managed to convince the wife.imp to marry me without having to propose, I am going to post something that prompted my own dad to ask the 2nd most favorite question in my entire life (the 'what are you, a dumbass?' and 'are you an idiot/moron?' and 'are we raising you in a barn?' questions are not applicable).

Dad's question? "Are you planning on going up to the roof and jumping off?"

Please read the following to discover what caused this concern:

In My Dreams

In my room late at night, I ask God to grant the secrets I keep
Secrets that during the day no one hears; not one peep
Everyone thinks me a clown, someone insensitive, one immature
They cannot see the fear inside, the doubts imbedded in my nature

Fears that boil and bubble ‘till with frustration my temper flares
Inept attempts at activities new, I blush and stammer at angry stares
Crimson faced and stumble tongued, Dear Lord! Where can I run?
Far, I want to go deep in the places dark, away from the accusing sun

But bills must be paid, so every day I go to face my shame
My nerves shot, I hold back tears for a child I cannot name
A child full of joy, with a flashing smile and sparkling eyes
Angry inside, I watch helpless every day as part of that child dies

In my bed, surrounded by walls that do not accuse
I can wish to be in another’s shoes
Only at night, I know I can pray to the One whose pity runs deep
When I close my eyes the scars fade, for my wishes are granted when I sleep

Slow News Day

Hello everyone!

I noticed that my attempt at posting a long post seemed to have bored all to tears. Mother Goose Mouse has a pretty insightful post ('What Not to Write', July 10) on this very topic.

However today I have to ask, 'why do I even bother to watch the local news?' Our local CBS affiliate ran a story (at the top of the hour!) right after a 'breaking' story on flooding around Ohio.

Remember, this was a 'priority' story. It was approx 3-4 minutes long. It was a story about an airplane crash.

In a different State!
On the ground!
With no injuries reported - minor or otherwise!
IT HAPPENED LAST YEAR!!!!

WTF?

My college major was journalism! I covered about every beat possible and not at any time did my professors or editors tell me: Go find me an old story with no injuries, little to no damage and make certain it is out of our circulation area. You do this for me and I will make certain it runs on the Front Page!!

What is happening here?

With this type of reporting criteria I have a newsflash for CBS:

Last year my g.imp almost broke her elbow on the wall while walking down the stairs. But hey! She did not actually hit the wall nor did she fall down or sustain any injuries!!

I'll be waiting for the news crew to show up on my doorstep...