Sunday, February 24, 2008

Life At the Playground

boy.imp and girl.imp share a bed, actually they sleep on two single beds that are side by side. Boy.Imp started chewing on girl.imp's hair tonight.

We really don't know why.

My laptop is set to run pictures as the screen saver (a function I just yesterday enabled) and girl.imp found out about this new twist last night 2 hours after her bedtime because she came downstairs to complain about her health...and watched the slide show for another hour or so...

Boy.Imp discovered this feature as I defragged the hard-drive around dinner time and spent most of dinner commenting on the photos. I had to turn the computer toward the wall because both imps were walking away from the table to get a closer view of the photos they most liked.

I did something to my neck. Don't know what and have suffered with near constant pain for 11/2 weeks. So after a massage and liberal use of a massage stick mthe pain is nearly gone. However, I still hesitate to look to my left with any degree of speed.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tuesdays Mondays

Sometimes Mondays are not the bad cliche of the week. Take Tuesday. I got girl.imp off to school -- late because I got up (a tad) latish and girl.imp moves slower than Grandma Moses with crippling arthritis in the mornings. Honestly, if her day could be pushed back to start after the 'Crack of Noon' then she would be much happier with the world.

Sooo we got to school and found that traffic in the drop-off lane was backed up almost to the entrance of the parking lot. It seems everybody was late today. The good news is that even though g.imp arrived 10 minutes after the bell, she had a 15-minute grace period to allow for those students who are on buses to arrive. So after dropping g.imp off, I sat in the parking lot and waited.

and waited...

All the while knowing that I had an appointment to keep some at 10:30a.m. almost 96 miles north and east of the school. I made it by 11:00a.m. On the way there, I stopped off at a McDonald's where my cousin and her husband manage and found that he was having a really, really bad morning.

In the few minutes I was inside the store, the window cashier gave out incorrect change 2x, the front counter cashier was struggling to make $15 of change with no fives (oddly she did have some tens and ones) and I managed to spill a large cup of coffee on the front counter.

I later found out that boy.imp refused to wear his winter coat, preferring instead to wear a heavy cotten hoodie out in the snow.

And yes, I do believe that there was a full moon Monday night...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Mark is not the only one with Dinner Trouble

tssss! wham! sploosh! tssssssss!

Four sounds that happened at the start of the cooking phase of Friday night's dinner. The menu included: Grilled Salmon, Buttered baby carrots and Mashed Potatos with gravy.

Yessiree, Dennis was enjoying hisself. I had the carrots on and was reaching to set the potato water on the stove when I noticed that the burner was sitting a tad lopsided. What I did not notice was the knob that controls this particular burner (front left) was on (I had originally meant to turn on the Rear Left burner).

So, I reached out to level the burner and -- TSSSS! (instant pain followed by a disheartening numbness in my left forefinger and thumb) I then dropped the pan of water on the stove--Wham! Which then spilled over and flooded over the still lop-sided burner--Sploosh--TSSSSSSSSSS!

Fortunately I a) immediately turned off the burner, b) iced the damaged digits, c) have a little bit of callused finger tips. This is important because the pain subsided after 1/2 an hour into a white scar which has not blistered. Although it might not fade either.

Aaaaaand---no fire or short-circuit action either!

Yeah me!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Our House is Cluttered

and it has been that way for years now. We have crap (sorry honey) STUFF packed away in our house for ....well for the new house. I have to admit that wife.imp and myself would never win awards for the 'Cleanest House In the Block' or even for neatness.

I should stress that we are not living in a house with an aisle from the front door through the family room (with alcoves for the furniture) into the kitchen, bath and bedrooms. We do not share our food/space with nature (at least not knowingly and when nature rears her ugly head inside we/I throw down immediately and beat the bitch out).

But we do have boxes in closets that have not been opened/moved since the day we moved in. We/I have clothes we/I will never wear again. Toys are hiding in various nooks and crannies that have not been moved since the great Dust Bunny Revival '03.

So I recently went and purchased several large sized plastic boxes and informed wife.imp that I am no longer content with the current room layout (I want more space!). Therefore I will be filling boxes and moving them to the garage (re: staging area) until more permanent decisions can be made (re: spring arrives and I start piling things up for the trash pickers/trash collection trucks or a possible Yard Sale then piling things up for trash pickers/trash collection trucks).

I am not going to ask. I have several items on my list of 'Things That Must Go'.

Sentiment and Value have no business in this cleanout and have been given the Pink Slip. Dad is in charge of 'Spring Cleaning' and Dad and Dad alone is making the decisions....


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

When it's punishment time at the Playground

Yes it occassionally happens. One of the imps will act out, smart off or generally cause havoc at 'the Playground' and a punishment will ensue (we have to because it spelled out midway through the fourth chapter of the official 'Idiot's Guide of How to be the Best Joy Sucker in 12 Easy Steps' manual).

Our nieghbors use the same relative technique, namely taking away something from the imps that they truly enjoy; video games, t.v., and/or various electronic devices.

However, that is not how WE roll here at 'the Playground'! Here we shout things like:
*Fine, don't wear your shoes to the car!
*Put that book down!
*No! I don't want a hug/kiss!

Yep, nothing can get the imps attention like depriving them of the essentials.

By the by, I was wandering through the house and realized how much JK Rowling has invaded our space.
There were open copies of Harry Potter books in the following rooms:
1)Upstairs bath - ...Half-Blood Prince
2)Imps' bedroom - ...Deathly Hallows
3)Family Room- ...Chamber of Secrets
4)DVD Player- ...Goblet of Fire
5)Car CD Player- ...Deathly Hallows

I really need the new season of Dr. Who to start...or Major League Baseball, either one....

Friday, February 01, 2008

Pull my finger...

Usually it takes two to play the ‘Pull-My-Finger’ game. Yesterday, however, wife.imp discovered how to play the ‘solitaire’ version.

wife.imp: girl.imp was late for school today
Me: uh
Wife.imp: It was my fault really. I was trying to get her into the car and I was yanking on the door, because—you know—it sticks if you don’t open it for a couple of days and, well, today it was stuck.
Me: oooookay
Wife.imp: and my finger hurts. It hurt all day. Look at it (here she holds up a hand where all the fingers look normal to me). Now look at it compared to this one (here she holds up her other hand, where all the fingers look normal to me). See, it’s swollen.
Me: uhuh (smile and nod, dennis. Smile and nod)
Wife.imp: See (shaking the offending finger, which I now see is her ring finger- left hand) It’s all swoll up. (wife.imp is teasing me about the time I let that little phrase escape from between my lips. ‘It’s all swoll up’ should tell you plenty about the area of Ohio in which I was raised).
Me: Yep
(seeing no difference but continuing to smile and nod)
Wife.imp: I could not get the door open so I kept pulling at it and…and, well, it was locked.
Me: yes..?

Wife.imp: So, I ended up pulling my finger (impossibly cute pouty face here) and it hurts…