So Post Vacation...

We arrived home to find our refrigerator (we think it was original with the house) had passed beyond acceptable into the realm of week-old, sweaty, gym socks that have baked in the sun for a month.

Niiiiice. I'll stop here while you sip your coffee and think back on the old high school gym lockers at their worst, which is still better than this.

So, day two of the return home included purchasing a major appliance for our home. Then, in the spirit of continued spending, because the house needs a face-lift (interior and exterior) we purchased a small tree and flowers plant in the hole left by a Maple tree that had succumbed to Carpenter Ants about 4 years ago.

In the meanwhile, the imps are transitioning very slowly from the 'Vacation Indulgence' back to, 'eat more healthy food because it is good for you' lifestyle.

Vacation in Canada

Yes, we went to Canada for our family vacation this decade. Montreal to be exact and let me just say one thing. The subway (metro) system here ROCKS!!

Can you ask for a more simple, easy-to-use, any dummie can use it, system? If you can, I would sure like to find out how!!

Ok on the down side: Hotel Rooms and Fancy Restaurants. We would like to think we can take our imps out to eat (sans fast food atmospheres). We would like to think that we could enjoy an evening before bed in a hotel room.

We forgot to think, what would an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old think?

We found out.

It was not pretty.

Wife.imp told me that my constant hissing was more annoying than the imps. I told wife.imp that my constant hissing was because I was condensing my ''You kids better sit your ---es down in those f... seats and button those --mn lips before I button them up for you and nail your ---es to the chairs"rant into the only viable voluable option available to me.

After giving me the 'Stink Eye' wife.imp turned around and started hissing at the imps...

I chose not tell her how irritating that sound was.

day 1 recap:
-visited biodome. Took tearful and pleading imps from gift shop, sans gifts.
-visited insectorium. Purchased toys for imps and two pocket umbrellas (both imps comandeered the umbrellas claiming they would look after/carry them). left on bus for metro.
- discovered umbrellas left behind at bus stop.
- returned to bus stop. wife.imp and imps saw umbrellas with strangers but I got off bus and looked at bench, chatted with park attendant and missed umbrellas. (purchased 2 more at a metro shop later same trip-wife.imp and both imps currently blaming loss of umbrellas on me.)
- girl.imp breaks harmonica. It still plays (people in next room will attest to this)
- boy.imp tears sticky feat off of bug toy. (now just a plastic bug toy that no long clings to walls, etc... Will probably leave it in room next to empty tin of condoms we found under the bed)
- decide not to walk barefoot in room while on this visit.

Trouble Brewing at 'The Playground'

It seems that girl.imp was laughing and encouraging a neighborhood boy to try and get a dog to pee on the girl (g.imp's most frequent playmate in this neighborhood) who lives across the street from us.

Then she almost rides her down whilst we are out on our Trikkes.

Dennis has not been very happy with the imp this weekend. The problem with punishment is that g.imp is not a computer fan, not a t.v. fan, not a play and get sweaty fan. She does, however, read. So now she must read 5 books (approved by wife.imp) and give verbal reports (approved by me!). I am also starting to place limitations on girl.imp until I can trust her judgement again.

I only wish I had a garden (when I was growing up we had one 50 yard wide by 25 yrds deep) for g.imp to weed.

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We ate at a restaurant the other night and boy.imp needed to visit the Water Closet. As soon as we are in the door he makes a beeline for the sit-down toilet. So I go through the process of cleaning off and papering the seat (yes, since the discovery of gravity, there are grown men out there that are not much concerned with aim) and paper the seat for the young imp...Who then informs me he only has to pee.

Great, I go and wash my hands and wait. He then finishes and washes his hands then informs me he has to go potty again. This time he wants to sit down..!!