When it's punishment time at the Playground

Yes it occassionally happens. One of the imps will act out, smart off or generally cause havoc at 'the Playground' and a punishment will ensue (we have to because it spelled out midway through the fourth chapter of the official 'Idiot's Guide of How to be the Best Joy Sucker in 12 Easy Steps' manual).

Our nieghbors use the same relative technique, namely taking away something from the imps that they truly enjoy; video games, t.v., and/or various electronic devices.

However, that is not how WE roll here at 'the Playground'! Here we shout things like:
*Fine, don't wear your shoes to the car!
*Put that book down!
*No! I don't want a hug/kiss!

Yep, nothing can get the imps attention like depriving them of the essentials.

By the by, I was wandering through the house and realized how much JK Rowling has invaded our space.
There were open copies of Harry Potter books in the following rooms:
1)Upstairs bath - ...Half-Blood Prince
2)Imps' bedroom - ...Deathly Hallows
3)Family Room- ...Chamber of Secrets
4)DVD Player- ...Goblet of Fire
5)Car CD Player- ...Deathly Hallows

I really need the new season of Dr. Who to start...or Major League Baseball, either one....

Pull my finger...

Usually it takes two to play the ‘Pull-My-Finger’ game. Yesterday, however, wife.imp discovered how to play the ‘solitaire’ version.

wife.imp: girl.imp was late for school today
Me: uh
Wife.imp: It was my fault really. I was trying to get her into the car and I was yanking on the door, because—you know—it sticks if you don’t open it for a couple of days and, well, today it was stuck.
Me: oooookay
Wife.imp: and my finger hurts. It hurt all day. Look at it (here she holds up a hand where all the fingers look normal to me). Now look at it compared to this one (here she holds up her other hand, where all the fingers look normal to me). See, it’s swollen.
Me: uhuh (smile and nod, dennis. Smile and nod)
Wife.imp: See (shaking the offending finger, which I now see is her ring finger- left hand) It’s all swoll up. (wife.imp is teasing me about the time I let that little phrase escape from between my lips. ‘It’s all swoll up’ should tell you plenty about the area of Ohio in which I was raised).
Me: Yep (seeing no difference but continuing to smile and nod)
Wife.imp: I could not get the door open so I kept pulling at it and…and, well, it was locked.
Me: yes..?
Wife.imp: So, I ended up pulling my finger (impossibly cute pouty face here) and it hurts…

Ok, there are some things one should not post

Especially when they have very young imps who both know how to read and know how to find your blog...

So while I was at work today, girl.imp read my last post and began asking wife.imp what I meant. Turns out wife.imp was not in to filling in the blanks I left and let girl.imp call me at work (re: while I was driving around the State) and demand the answers from me.
Lucky for me, I was busy at the time of her call and have not had to address this issue yet.
Meanwhile girl.imp came downstairs after 10p.m. with one of her 'short' question session.

g.imp: dad, I have a question--No, no. Don't worry. This is short. I promise...So why did you post that I said, 'I swear that I am up to no good' and that I said, 'Mischief managed'?
me: (uh oh) I'm sorry. I'll stop doing it.
(because this blog won't just suck if I cannot post what you and your brother say/do on a daily basis. Yep, the whole purpose of doing this will just dry up and blow away if you take you and your brother out of the equation...)
g.imp: Oh no! Keep on doing it! Keep on doing it!

what a smartass!! LOL

Wife.Imp has not been feeling well

and has been curled up with her fever and chills and generally not feeling better. Water tastes bad, soup was eaten but was it really tasted?

Even the Tylenol did not help her headache. In fact it steamrolled right over her medicine. So I felt it was time to start a conversation:

me: I just want to be perfectly clear on this point. Just to be certain...
wife.imp: mmm
me: There's--there's not going to be any sex tonight is there?

Boy.Imp cried when I left the restaurant with Girl.Imp

We were only going home and wife.imp was taking boy.imp as soon as she paid for dinner (yep. that is the kind of woman she is. I do so enjoy being the trophy husband)

So we are in the parking lot and boy.imp calls on the cell phone bawling and crying that he wanted to go home with me (because I am the Walrus 'Fun Parent'). I left him with his mother (they were only 1-2 minutes behind us at most) and went home with girl.imp (it is a school night and it was her turn to shower first).

In the car girl.imp busted my balls chastised me for not letting her talk to boy.imp on the phone.

me: I did not give you the phone because boy.imp did not need you laughing at him.
g.imp: I would not have laughed at him.
me: yes you would!
g.imp: huhuh! I swear!
me: don't give me that...
g.imp: I would not have laughed. I solemnly swear.
me: what?
g.imp: I solemnly swear...
me: hmm
g.imp (in a whisper): ...that I am up to no good.
me: Say what::
g.imp (laughing): Mischief managed!

***********
Since the flooding has been resolved, laundry is being rushed through and we lost track of the clean vs. dirty piles (ok, one or two items of clothes were were unsure about as they could have been in either pile).

wife.imp: Are you sure that they are clean
(she is pointing at boy.imp's underwear and one of girl.imp's socks)
me: well, I know that the sock is clean
wife.imp: (looked at me for several seconds and then picked up the underwear and sniffed)


Yes, they too were clean!

Two Showers and a Wash

Two showers and a load of laundry last Sunday proved that our flooding inside the house issues are very much still with us.

and this after I had Roto Rooter out last month to snake the main line.

By the way, I realize that our house was built in 1968. I realize that I did not have any input into its design. But who the hell puts the water stack in the middle of the family room (I cannot say basement as ours is a split-level house) and then frames around it with wood?

I'm no engineer but I would think that waste water from the upper level of the house might not be the best thing to route through the middle of the room where the family spends most of its time!

Geeez!

Ok. So RR snaked the main line and all was fine and dandy until last Sunday. I recalled the tech and scheduled an appt. for this a.m. (meaning btwn the hours of 8a.m. and 12p.m.). The tech arrived around noon and re-snaked the line with all of his cutting blades.

Nothing. No mess, no fuss, no cleaned line.

He calls his supervisor who brings the Camera-on-a-Snake to run through my line to verify what the hell is happening. Turns out that the blockage is within 20 feet of the main sewer line and just a foot or two beyond the reach of the tech's standard cable.

As I type this, the tech is on his way to get a cable extension (I think. He has been gone for almost an hour) so that the blockage can be cleaned. And the cost in time and special equipment?

Pretty darn reasonable. I get to keep both my imps and perhaps my right arm to boot!!

I am supposed to leave at 7a.m. tomorrow

instead I am here: http://www.addictinggames.com/fancypantsadventure2.html

have a nice day!