For dinner the imps decided to add their own flair.
So we are eating fish for dinner tonight and girl.imp is vehemently opposed (it was not salmon) and boy.imp was not interested in anything but the eyeball.
Wife.Imp: (calling home from her car after work)...
I could have, I really really really could have taken my 'puter to the local coffee bin and spent an afternoon relaxing with my favorite caffiene/calorie overdose. But no, I decided that I could go home. Work on the dining room table until it was time to start dinner (which I am getting burned out with cooking on a nightly basis -Yea me! Only 60-80 more years of that left).
Our SIL has been staying with us for a while and gave boy.imp a shower recently. After which they came downstairs and regaled me with how his badoodle poked out of the side of his briefs after he did a brief hip-shaking dance.
This then turned into:
sil: dennis, when you have to pee how do you (gesture of moving clothing)...do you move your underwear to the side? (It took me a little bit but the gesture was that of pulling the seam from the leg up and over, thus freeing, the applicable parts)
me: No you just poke it through the hole in the front or hook your thumb over the waistband and pull down
sil: but with briefs don't you?
me: I don't wear briefs anymore...wait a minute. you've been married for what...20 years or so. Haven't you ever seen...
sil: NO! I could never...
me: well after 14 years I can go in and pee infront of wife.imp if I need to. You have to remember, guys are lazy. We want to find and use the easy way...
Yep, I made that threat to girl.imp because she was 'massaging' (re: hitting--albeit lightly) her brother's back and I told her to stop.
g.imp: What nuggets?
me: Your...you don't have nuggets.
g.imp: you mean that tube-thingy that you and b.imp pee out of??
me: wha??
g.imp: I'm going to hit you in your badoodle!
me: my what?
g.imp: Your badoodle...That means your armpit!
(of course armpit was a last second replacement...)
girl.imp has advised that we should be Obama supporters come November's election. In exploring this newfound interest in politics on g.imp's part we determined that her support of Mr. Obama stemmed from two sources:
1) He would be the first brown president in the United States
2) His commercials about 'that other guy' McCain are funny
and it is really hard to argue with girl.imp's logic!
I met a couple from Ottawa yesterday on my way home from work. They were traveling to Nashville to visit with their son and wanted to avoid Columbus, Ohio during rush hour. And, no offense intdended Mayor Coleman, I agreed with them. So I told them about the largest Amish Community in North America (which was approx 1 hour away) in Holmes and Wayne Counties and then I noted that they were only 2 hours away from Hocking Hills and Old Man's Cave.
After pointing out numerous routes designed to take them well off of the beaten path, I started back to my car. About the time I reached the 'office on wheels' I realized that their maps were practically useless for avoiding getting lost whilst enjoying life off of the beaten path.
Oh, sure. We all know that it is impossible to stay lost on an Ohio backroad as they all lead to a larger Township Road which connects to a County Road which will, eventually, route one to a State Route or a US Highway.
But did this couple know this? their maps were blatantly devoid of all the back-country roads and how to route back to their eventual destination. I, on the other hand, know most of the routes and how to get around (I had a map that lists all of Ohio's backroads and main routes and I did not need it). So I trotted back to the couple's car and essentially told them to have fun and to use my map. I then hurried away so that they would have had to chase me down in order to give the map back.
and as out-of-shape and fat as I am, I was betting I could still hustle just fast enough to keep them from coming after me...
