Girl.Imp Speaks (daddy quietly freaks)

g.imp: mommy, I have a question.
(it is around 10p.m. and bedtime for the imps. G.imp has meandered downstairs and pulls up a chair infront of wife.imp and myself)
w.imp: yes... (g.imp has been using this time of night to bombard us with Harry Potter questions and wife.imp was about to roust her back upstairs)
g.imp: Am I developing my milk-feeders yet? (waving a hand infront of her chest

It was sooo peaceful...

There we were sitting on the sofa. Wife.imp was lying down and resting, boy.imp was sitting on my shoulders resting his chin on my head and moving around (so I thought) trying to find a more comfortable position. Then he burped from his southernmost orifice...

Weekend with the Imps

Wife.Imp and the imps and I went out for Sushi last Friday and after dinner we split up so that I could purchase a family planner calendar and wife.imp could take girl.imp shopping for a gift for our neighbor's daughter's birthday.

Being that I am over 35 and it was after 7 p.m., I needed coffee. So I took boy.imp to the coffee shop/sports bar which is located in the mall where we ate dinner.

boy.imp: can we go in and sit down?
me: nope. we're going home as soon as we get our coffee and food (he talked me into buying dessert by stopping his whining as soon as I agreed).
boy.imp: why not? I want to sit down.
me: (looking hatefully at the mother and toddler-aged daughter sitting in plain sight) weeeell, you're still too little to go in there and I am not buying you one of those drinks (re: alcohol beverages that everyone seemed to be enjoying)
boy.imp: (long pause) I could use a little cup...

Friday night after the imps' betime:
me: Hey! (girl.imp walks into the bathroom whilst I am enjoying some free time on the porceline throne)
girl.imp: Now that you have some free time, I have a question to ask you.
me: (nonononono these are the questions you need to ask your mom! I don't want to deal with boyfriends, puberty or you staring at me while I am on the toilet! Yes, we have a door that locks now. No, I have not gotten into the habit of locking it--YET)
girl.imp: So--In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, why did blah blah blahbabablah...

White Guy cooking Adobo

No, it is not me. Wife.Imp assured me that he did a good job with both the recipe and the language - a Tagalog & English mix called Taglish.

After watching this video, I can now cook this dish and have determined that I should be able to learn Taglish as well!

When OSU Gets to the Title Game NEXT Year...

Can we please play any team from a division other than from the SEC??

Yes, I am predicting the Buckeyes playing in a 3rd consecutive national title game and for those detractors out there who believe we are too slow (we're not, but we do have those odd games where sound technique gets left behind. go figure) let me just say that 4 title game appearances in 7 years trumps any background yammering of how underserving a conference/team we (the Buckeye Nation) are...and I did not see any other team willing to step up and take that spot for this year's beating!

Ok, soapbox put away until November 2008.

Laundry?

Girl.Imp has taken a great interest in separating the whites from the darks in recent weeks. Unfortunately, she has no interest in the laundry. Instead she likes to sit on my lap and pull down my t-shirt to separate gray chest hairs from the others and then tries to convince me to let her pluck them...

Girl.Imp had a bad day after her 1st day of school - post holiday break

However before I get into that, it is halftime at the Orange Bowl and this bowl finally got halftime entertainment done right!!

ZZ Top played the entire time I viewed and jammed 'Sharp Dressed Man' without the network pushing for them to end the song ASAP!!!

Back to g.imp: I picked her up on the way home from work (another 200+ mile day) and I was juuuust a little tired and cranky and she meets me at the door of the babysitters to tell me that the back of her head hurt because boy.imp had jumped on her back and pulled her down so that their heads knocked together (at least two times) today.

This brings up a point to emphasize the difference between boys and girls.

I gave girl.imp a new helmet for riding her TRIKKE (I will be flogging this as the world's greatest invention all year) and she fusses with the helmet for a moment or two and declares that it will fit better with a ponytail.

I gave boy.imp a new helmet for riding his new bicycle and he fusses until the chinstrap is strapped on and immediately begins running head first into our hall walls and continues until we go outside!

Anyway, g.imp 'forgot' to complete her homework while at the sitter's so that was her task before eating dinner (she did 3 questions wrong and had to redo them--NOT HAPPY). Then She and boy.imp bumped heads again...MORE TEARS

I decide this is a good time to retire to the porceline throne in the 'Reading Room' and girl.imp is teased by wife.imp about how she hogs the blankets in bed at night leaving boy.imp to curl in a fetal position hoping to be warmed by her breath as she sleeps the night through...STILL MORE TEARS

SO I decide it is time to lighten the mood and I re-emerge from the 'Reading Room' and announce:
"One of my pooplets was shaped like an almond!"

Both imps fall over laughing and wife.imp gives me a 'WTF' look and wanders off to the kitchen. But there is no need to explain as my goal was accomplished! I gather both imps into my arms for a hug aaaaaaand they bump heads again...EVEN MORE TEARS

Sometimes a person can't win for losing!