Wife.Imp and the imps and I went out for Sushi last Friday and after dinner we split up so that I could purchase a family planner calendar and wife.imp could take girl.imp shopping for a gift for our neighbor's daughter's birthday.
Being that I am over 35 and it was after 7 p.m., I needed coffee. So I took boy.imp to the coffee shop/sports bar which is located in the mall where we ate dinner.
boy.imp: can we go in and sit down?
me: nope. we're going home as soon as we get our coffee and food (he talked me into buying dessert by stopping his whining as soon as I agreed).
boy.imp: why not? I want to sit down.
me: (looking hatefully at the mother and toddler-aged daughter sitting in plain sight) weeeell, you're still too little to go in there and I am not buying you one of those drinks (re: alcohol beverages that everyone seemed to be enjoying)
boy.imp: (long pause) I could use a little cup...
Friday night after the imps' betime:
me: Hey! (girl.imp walks into the bathroom whilst I am enjoying some free time on the porceline throne)
girl.imp: Now that you have some free time, I have a question to ask you.
me: (nonononono these are the questions you need to ask your mom! I don't want to deal with boyfriends, puberty or you staring at me while I am on the toilet! Yes, we have a door that locks now. No, I have not gotten into the habit of locking it--YET)
girl.imp: So--In Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, why did blah blah blahbabablah...
Monday, January 14, 2008
Weekend with the Imps
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5 comments:
What is it about children that makes them accost you when you're sitting on the toilet?
If I lock the bathroom door, Isaac just rattles the knob, proclaims that it's broken, and then asks daddy to fix it for him.
It's not just the kids, but the spouse's as well. I can be sitting around watching TV for an hour and it's as if I'm invisible. Get up, walk out of the room, get into the bathroom and SUDDENLY I'm desperately needed to judge a lego jet and get questioned about a bill!
Toilets and telephones are like kid magnets if you are attached to either.
If you are on the phone with your insurance company whilst sitting down and taking care of business, it will happen that when you are FINALLY taken off hold and just ready to speak, your child will come in and say loudly, "Why are you on the phone while you are pooping? Is it Aunt Patrice? Can I talk?"
Our kids have learned if you straighten a paper clip and stick it into the bathroom doorknob, you can pop the lock.
The monkeys have learned to use tools!
My kids do that while I am on the phone... or yelling at them for some normal childhood violation of house rules...
Me: Clean your room!!!
They: Waaaa you're mean!!
Me: It's not a suggestion, move it!
They: why are you yelling like that??
>o|
p.s. I'm back. My laptop was eaten by some random malevolent code and it took a month to get it fixed!
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