More Holiday Stress (or why does daddy like to throw gasoline on the fire?)

Yes, I am back with more info concerning our Christmas "vacation" trip. When we last broached this topic, I was up the Proverbial Creek, no paddles and, as Jenny and Diana informed me, with no canoe either.

So there we were in Northern Illinois, 10 hours from home, and wife.imp was recovering from her recent shopping trip with a sedate lunch out. We were heading out to pick up her best friend (and his wife) from college (Ateneo de Manila University) who was also visiting relatives for Christmas.

So upon arriving at the restaurant (in the middle of lunch rush because we got lost on the way to the friend's house) wife.imp only had enough time to recount the 'Present' snafu 3 maybe 4 times.

Skipping forward in time because the imps were loud, whiny and did I mention loud?, I was rushing out to get the van fired up so we could escape the 'Evil-Eyed' stares of those diners the imps had not chased away.

Just as I reached the exit, girl.imp catches up with me and tells me that boy.imp needs his diaper changed and that wife.imp was having me change the diaper because she was enjoying time with her friends and because "...You owe her big time."

Exact quote. This is the type of quote that should send chills down your spine. The type of quote that should have mandatory sub-titles in flashing neon: DANGER, RUN--DON'T WALK, FLEE DAMMIT, DON'T LOOK BACK! PRETEND gir.imp DID NOT CATCH UP WITH YOU!

But no, I looked back at the table and there is wife.imp holding boy.imp up in the air waving him back and forth, smiling. Everyone at the table was smiling. And it was now too late to pretend I had not made eye contact!

Boy.Imp's pants were soaked. Absolutely, literally, dripping wet. Oddly enough the table top was dry. When I say soaked, I mean dripping from the bottoms of his shoes, his socks everything. It was as if he were dipped into a tub of water and handed to me. Ice cold water too. He was soaked and his pants were cold.

He sat through lunch, peeing what could only have been, what?, 2 liters, and not once did he complain. Not until his pants had time to cool down.

So into the bathroom for a quick change (but because daddy has had experience with more than one imp, he keeps a spare change of ...pants only in the diaper bag). So there I am, in a strange town, with a bag full of diapers and soiled clothes, in the middle of December, with my 3-year-old and no extra socks, no extra shoes and my own personal audience waiting for me outside the door.

Yes, wife.imp got a 2-fer that day. Dad forgot to pack a complete change of emergency clothes for boy.imp and was caught short--yet again.

However, there was a Wal-Mart not 10 minutes away. And now I am one of those folks. I would dress my son up in the dead of winter and take him shopping barefoot to the local Wal-Mart. I also would have him stand barefoot, in only his diapers while we tried on clothes in the middle of the Boys department.

Come on over folks, bring your cameras! Daddy is about to parade boy.imp up and down the aisles for your amusement. Admission is FREE!


Can you believe it is 12-years together and still going strong!!!