Monday, September 17, 2007

Around 'The Playground'

Are your imps tired? Do they barely manage to drag themselves from the bus to the door after a long day of school? Are they finding it hard to bring the spark of life back to the afternoon's glazed-eyed, 1,000-yard stare?

Well Grandma.imp has the solution for you! Yes, this will cure the early fall blues, put the spring back in the imps' steps and is guaranteed to raise thier GPA's by 20 points!

What is this miracle cure? This magical suppliment that will put the Ying back in their Yang?
In other news:
We have been trying to get boy.imp to stop wiping his face (tonight he was eating spaghetti) on his shirt front.

me:
Use your napkin! I mean, have you been raised in a barn?
b.imp: what's a raisen?

I arrived home tonight after a long day of, necessary but, drudgery work and wife.imp asks me to finish cutting the French Loaf that she was going to use to make Garlic Bread.

and why was I being asked to slice bread?

because she pulled a muscle in her left arm while slicing the self-same loaf!

My cousin turns 21 soon. She is in (what will be soon called a 'serious' relationship). However she is taking things slow because she has no intrest in producing offspring:

Cousin: I aint going to have no baby coming out of my vagina...
me: well, that narrows the options a bit...I mean that is how they get in, in the first place...

7 comments:

creative-type dad said...

Pixie sticks? Yikes! That stuff is like crack for kids...

DD said...

I loves me the pixie sticks. The paper tubes are for pussies. Give me the industrial size pvc piped pixie sticks! What sucks is that they're a little harder to hide from the kiddo.

If a loaf of bread caused one to pull a muscle, I'd say it's time for a new recipe.

Hannah said...

I didn't know you could still buy Pixie Stix. Awesome. And hey, Britney Spears has two kids and neither one of them has passed through her vagina (interesting, since so many other things have, boo-ya) so maybe there is still hope.

Diana said...

i had a comment but i cant stop laughing at hannah's comment....

Rebecca said...

And how DID the bread slicing go for you?

Pageant Mom said...

Aw pageant moms have known that trick for years... ;o) Although, I'm pretty sure that was the start of the downward decline of our reputations (teehee) And possibly civilization as we know it.

I can't give 'em to Gizmo. They cause her to have a weird transformation into some kind of insane brat from hades. We have to stick to protein LOL or we end up with well, a Gremlin.

I have no comment on the food incident. I'm not allowed in the kitchen. Court order.

wayabetty said...

Uh so Dennis...I'll send my kids over when they need to know about the birds and the bees?!