Saturday, May 05, 2007

All the Playground is a Stage and...

The Players:

Eldest Younger Sister (EYS)
Our Dad (OD)
Eldest Brother (EB)
Our Nephew (EYS eldest son = ON)
Sister-In-Law (EB's wife = SIL)

The Plot: A woman with too much time on her hands, and a telephone, decides to 'rearrange' her eldest brother's summer plans...

Watch closely folks there are 5 phone calls in this little play and we will hear but 2. Yet you shall be offered a glimpse into the inner workings of our humble company.

Call 1:
me: hey, whatcha doin'?
EB: not much...EYS called and wants to send ON here for the summer
me: good! you'll have fun.
EB: Uh, we're never home. I told her that SIL and I are never home and that ON would have more fun if he stayed with you.
me: huh-uh. I already took the hunter safety test with him. It's your turn. As a matter-of-fact it is time for you to step up and be a Good Uncle.
EB: Are you kidding me? What's a 10-year-old kid going to do here? SIL works 14-16 hours a day and I'm posted in Wisconsin! Who's going to be home with ON
me: well...
EB: I'm going to call EYS back and tell her that ON will have to stay with you.
me: with us? what's he going to do with us? We live in Ohio. If he's going to stay with us he might as well stay home. What he needs is a change of scenery. If he's not going to be home, then he really needs to go to a different State. Besides, why didn't you just tell her 'No'?
EB: Because EYS called me to get SIL's phone number and then called her with this idea. SIL called me after and asked how we were going to manage this.
me: Yeah, did I mention the time that EYS called and told me that she just signed me up for a Hunter Safety course with ON? Apparently she was just pulling my chain and after our conversation she had to scramble to actually get us signed up for this class.
EB: Yeah, well anyway I am going to call EYS and straighten her out about this...

A short while later I was at our parent's house and mentioned this call to OD. He thought it would be great fun to call EB yank on his chain for a while:

Call 2:
OD: Hey, I just got off the phone with your sister and she wants to know if I can bring ON up to your house in three weeks.
(everyone in the house is trying very hard not to laugh too loudly as this call is taking place on speaker phone)
EB: She called..?
OD: Yes. So you need to make sure there is something going on for ON when he gets there.
EB: I can't believe she called you too! I need to call her....What did she tell you?
OD: (trying very hard to stop laughing) Actually she didn't call. Your brother is here and he told me about your phone call. I'm still trying to figure out...
EB: (ranting about not being home...)
OD: I'm still wondering why you didn't just tell her 'No'?
EB: Why would she call and tell us this?

OD: She was pulling your leg. ON is not going anywhere. He's supposed to be mowing my lawn this summer. In fact, ON was here just a few days ago trying to figure out how much money he was going to make this summer.
EB: You know she called me first to get SIL's number then she called SIL and told her that ON was going to stay the summer with us.
OD: I heard.
EB: I can't believe she did that! I mean, nobody is going to be here! What's he supposed to do here all day?
OD: Well, he could sit in your kitchen and watch that small t.v. mounted under the cupboards.
EB: Yeah, well, he could do that. But for 10 hours a day? I need to call her and straighten her out.
OD: You realize that she was just pulling your leg! There is no way ON is going to spend the summer with you. By the way your brother is over here falling off the couch. Thinks this is the funniest thing he's ever heard.
EB: But, why would she think that was funny?

Obviously EB has lived far enough from us for so long he has forgotten what is like to deal with members of our family! I only wish I could have been around for that 5th phone call between OD and EYS!


MdG said...

"Eldest Younger Sister (EYS)"
I *know* I have been paying attention. How many siblings do you have?

Maria said...

I agree. I keep thinking that you must be a Von Trapp family singer or something...

Every time I turn around there seems to be a new family member. Maybe you should give them names like Baroness and Leisl.

dennis said...

mdg and maria: There were only the 5 of us...