Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I typically delete these but my uncle sent another gem

Here are a few things to think about:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
(Great, another Item I have to consider in my will...)

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

(Hey James, you might want to remember this question when you and Mrs. B finally have those imps. Plan NOT to let these particular words slip out between your lips!! --by the way, remember those'Ask James Anything' Fridays?--I'll make sure to stop by soon!)

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

(This would be interesting to try...Yes, that thought did cross my mind!)

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?


Pageant Mom said...

I'm tired so my comments will be brief...

the extra penny is thought tax.

lord I hope I don't have to wear what i'm buried in 'cause my mom and husband will fight over what I get to wear.

I reckon the round pizza goes in a square box due to econimies of scale in having equipment to build round boxes versus square....

I'm not too sure about the hearse question.

I generally sleep like a dead person.

speaking of sleep.... I must go to bed now 'cause it's late.

Now concerning panties, you'd think a thong would be thongs...

wayabetty said...

Oh, this is classic Dennis! Thanks for making my morning. I'm going to "borrow" these.

Mark said...

These were really funny. But if you think about it, wheels on luggage should have happened a really long time ago.

dennis said...

PM: If your hubs and mom fight over what you get to wear...who would you want to win that argument and why?

betty: you know I can refuse you nothing. Borrow away...

Mark: tell me about it. I am just glad they have them on the luggage now

Maria said...

I kept hearing Andy Rooney's voice coming out of your blog!

I really liked the corpse one.

dennis said...

maria: andy rooney and corpses...I like!

Diana said...

Holding my sides from laughing Dennis...
BTW, I can log in to comment on everyone's page but I can't seem to write a post. Me and blooger are going to have a fight soon...I have big news for everyone!

dennis said...

diana: Congrats! But that is so not fair leaving that big hint and no follow up!!