Friday, May 04, 2007

Will this make up for yesterday's LAME-O post?

So I am rushing around the house yesterday a.m. in an effort to get out on the road early enough to do some real work. Meaning I had to be at a specific county courthouse (2.5 hours from my house) before 11a.m. to ensure I had enough time to research property and obtain copies of paperwork so that I could rush to another county (1 hour from said courthouse) in time to keep a mid-afternoon appointment.

So what does this mean? It means I have to do a lot of driving to actually accomplish a minimum of work. In order to reaaaally be certain I would get everything done on time, I had to leave early.

So what is the one thing parents never remember to take into consideration when they make 'absolutely unbreakable commitments' outside of the actual family?

anybody? anybody?



Yep, you guessed it!


The imps radar array rivals that of any military/space agency.

In our household this usually is manifested by the imps suddenly becoming raving insomniacs the night before a trip (in which we plan to leave in the wee hours of the morning and drive, drive, drive).

Or let's say that mom and dad are in the midst of an impromtu canoodle. Oh the hilarity that ensues!!

Dennis! Quit rambling and tell us what happened yesterday!!

Ahhh, yesterday. I had plans. I had my books on tape. My chewing gum and bottles of water...

...and boy.imp vomits all over the table, dining room floor and kitchen floor.

Yep the grand 'ole technicolor yawn! He heaved. Blew chunks. Burped up Breakfast.

Fortunately wife.imp's neice is still with us. So give boy.imp the once over, hand him a pedialite popsickle and hit the road.

and promptly pushed this little incident out of my mind. I was late.

Yes, I can hear the collective groans. 'But Dennis, he was sick. How could you leave?'

Do not worry dear readers, the cosmos did not let me off so easily. Right before lunch I pulled into a gas station/convenience store to--well the details are not important but I was looking for the local "WC" (water closet). And in the Ladies Lou somebody was just as sick as b.imp had been earlier in the a.m.

How could I tell? Because the sound effects were very definitive. In fact, I could swear she had been miked and was using a state of the art sound system. She was using digital, dolby sound! With an amp or two. 'Course on my way out she would have appear and she would have to be wearing a uniform proclaiming her to be an employee of this particular establishment and she also wanted to stay at work.

I left my water and gum on the counter and left. For some odd reason, I was not really all that hungry.


Maria said...

Did she have any weird stains on the front of her shirt?

And, hey...just buy your stuff and some hand sanitizer (they always have those 99 cent bottles right next to the register anyway) and breathe through your mouth until you make it back to your car.

I once ate my lunch while I watched an autopsy. Yes, I am really THAT sick.

Chaos Control said...

Whew .. what a relief ... I thought you were going to tell us that you knew this woman in the ladies WC was hurling because, well, you were using the women's WC!

creative-type dad said...

Was the waitresses name "Flo"?

wayabetty said...

It's true though, the kids seem to know something big's going to happen and they always "spoil" the plan, don't they?!

And that worker must have had one of those dried up hot dog that they sell at those convenient store that's been sitting there for days.

dennis said...

maria: you have a truly strong stomach

cc: the fascination for the ladies room ended when I had to regularly clean them while working at a fast food place...and I thought men could be disgusting...

betty: whatever she had, I did not want it...