Tuesday, May 01, 2007

There's nothing like a young hot babe that makes a man want to part with his money

Yes, you are reading this right. Even I am not immune when a hottie really works at stroking my -- ego.

We were in Pittsburgh over the weekend and since we arrived late we decided to kill time by shopping at the mall (Robinson's Center) which is both near our hotel and Ikea. While at the mall, I heeded a call of nature and was in the midst of wondering which store wife.imp and boy.imp disappeared into when SHE approached me.

The concept is pretty simple, as a leading question in a loud voice and plant yourself directly in the sap's customer's path. It did not hurt that she was cute and that I had spotted her kiosk earlier and was vaguely interested in the product titles. "blah blah blah from the Dead Sea"

This meant that they were full of salt. This meant they were body care items (lotions/scrubs) and something that wife.imp might be interested in. So with the hottie pulling on my arm, dragging me toward the kiosk, I thought, 'what the hell? I might as well take one for the team...'

In the end I did purchase a nice scrub (there was this fingernail polisher thing, which left a very high shine with minimal effort but it seemed to have too many sides and quite honestly if clippers don't get the job done then my teeth will -- Kids ignore that last remark. never use your teeth to trim your nails. Ok, you boys can.)

So this hottie kept up her patter a mile-a-minute and during this time she learned I was married with children. She still flirted (because I had yet to offer to buy anything) and told me she was jewish, from Isreal, needed a boyfriend--possibly also wanted a boyfriend--but needed one for the relatives back in the homeland. If you are Jewish or if you happen to be from a small Island Republic in SE Asia, you will truly understand the 'need a boyfriend' vs. 'want a boyfriend' mentality.

Anyway, I managed to get a discount. I know. I know. Could she truly be jewish and let me have a discount?

I asked her that very question. She laughed and wrote her name on my reciept. So, if any one is in Pittsburg and at the Robinson's Center mall complex be sure to stop in and see my newest, bestest friend, Einav (her hebrew name).

and ladies...Einav is verrrrry good at her job. Do not let your husbands near her kiosk by themselves.

You have been warned.

7 comments:

wayabetty said...

So Dennis, did you tell you wife.imp the whole story?

And I guess the old "sex sells" is still alive and kicking!

dennis said...

betty: i told her that i opened my wallet and told the woman to help herself to the contents... :)

Maria said...

Well, how much EXACTLY did you buy? And I misread your sentence and thought you wrote "rice scrub" instead of "nice scrub" and it sort of threw me around for a while. I kept wondering what the hell a rice scrub was and how I could obtain one.

dennis said...

Maria: rice scrub? too funny! I will not mention an exact price, but it was around the cost of a large pizza...

Chaos Control said...

I love it!! I think I might just have to send my husband there ... to give me a little rest!! ;-)

Mama of 2 said...

Hey Dennis you were in my neck of the woods and what you didn't look me up????

Shame on you!!

dennis said...

Mo2: Apologies! We might go back sometime this year...