For Father's Day, Wife.Imp made me a cake

She spent over 3 hours (sometimes fending off the imps sometimes allowing them to help - girl.imp stabbed the cake just to make sure it was not going anywhere) decorating the cake.  She then took a short break as I gathered the materials and set them up for all to enjoy.

Then I proceeded to satisfy the imps' craving (therefore quieting the racket).  I only wish I started with the pictures...

Boy Imp Speaks

Ok, wife.imp was in the bathroom this a.m. and boy.imp comes rushing in 

b.imp: Mom, I need a q-tip

w.imp: What for?

b.imp: girl.imp needs one to clean out her belly-button

w.imp: what? you don't go...you don't have...you tell your sister that she needs to be the one that...

b.imp: well, I already have one now so it's too late.  Maybe next time!

(insert evil laugh here)

Pictures from Wild Camp 2009 - closing skit and awards

Can anyone guess who was voted 'Camp Clown'?

anyone?

anyone?

More Meme about Me!

Dennis answered 'Have You...' questions in Get To Know Me.

Dated outside your race?: yes
Given a hickey?: yes
Dated your good friend/best friend?: yes
Sung in the shower?: sporadically
Spit in someone's drink?: yes
Dumped someone?: yes
Opened your Christmas presents early?: no
Peed outside?: yes
Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?: why?
Had more than five REAL bf/gf?: emotionally or physically?
Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?: yes
Ran through the sprinklers naked?: yes, they are called showers
Ate food that fell on the floor?: hello! boy!
Went outside naked?: same answer
Made out with your best friends bf/gf?: when I was single
Mooned somebody?: no
Been on stage?: yes
Made someone cry?: yes
Been in a parade?: yes
Been in a school play?: no
Drank beer?: yes
Gotten detention?: yes
Been on a plane?: yes
Been on a cruise?: no
Broken into a house?: mine
Gotten a tattoo?: no
Gotten piercings?: only accidentally
Cried so hard you threw up?: is this possible?
Gotten into a shouting match?: as an adult?
Been skinny dipping?: as an adult?
Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: yes
Laughed so hard it hurt?: yes
Tripped on your own feet?: yes
Cried yourself to sleep?: pre or post teen?
Cried in public?: yes
Thrown up in public?: yes-on a corvette at a corvette show - before the judging (boy was that guy happy)
Lied to your parents?: yes
Skipped class?: yes
Slept in class?: yes
What are you listening to right now: Torchwood
What makes you happy: Life
What did you do yesterday: lived
Got any awards: many
What car do you wish to have: 68-73 amx or amc javelin
Do you want to get married: not again (that would mean this one failed)
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you chan: more superpowers
Good driver: Richard Petty
Good dancer: Fred Estaire
Good Singer: Joan Jett
Have a lava lamp: no
How many remote controls are in your house: two (one boy and one girl)
Are you double jointed: no
What do you dream about: cannot remember my dreams
Last time you showered: today
The last movie you saw at the theatres: this month
Scary or happy movies: neither option is enticing (as hollywood has forgotten how to do either well)
Root beer or Dr. Pepper: both
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: neither
Vanilla or chocolate: in what context?
Skiing or Boarding: both
Summer or winter: both
Silver or Gold: lots of either
Diamond or pearl: same answer
Sunset or Sunrise: either
Sprite or 7up: neither
Orange juice or apple juice: either
Cats or dogs: either
Coffee or tea: either
Phone or in person: to do what?
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: as long as she is over 18 (well that is just creepy, now it would have to be over 28)
Indoor or Outdoor: depends on what I am doing
Do you like filling these out: only when I'm bored
Do you wear contacts or glasses?: yes
Do you like yourself: yes
Do you get along with your family: yes
Have piercings below the waist: do nails through the leg count?
Stolen anything over $30: no
Obsessive: yes, but not when I am being compulsive
Compulsive: yes, but not when I am being obsessive
Anorexic: no
Bulimic: no
Suicidal: no
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: yuck
Go to a Manson concert if you had a free ticket: yuck
If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with : anyone who could help get me off of said island
If you loved someone and you were keeping something from them an: a complete, coherent sentence maybe?
Do you admire anyone?: yes
Who is the last person that called you: called me what?
Who was the last person you slow danced with: wife.imp
What makes you laugh the most: life
What makes you smile: life
Chicken pox: scary
Sore Throat: could be scary
Broken nose: very scary
Tonsels removed: only once
Ice cream in the morning: not now
To give the heimlich: no
Your good luck charm: she knows who she is
Best song you ever heard: Pressure
Stupidest thing you have ever done: try to date a girl dating someone in a gang
What's your room like: which room?
Last thing you said: I waggled my e yebrows in the yes context, which is universally known and recognized by anyone who speaks Tagalog
What is beside you: coffee
What shampoo do you use: whatever is open
Something that has happened to you this year: I let someone walk all over me
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: the 2nd Annual Anal Probe
Given anyone a bath: in what context?
Smoked: never
Bungee Jumped: never
Made yourself throw-up: yes
Gone skinny dipping: never
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: yes
Broken a bone: yes
Played truth or dare: yes
Been in a physical fight: yes
Been in a police car: yes
Come close to dying: yes
Been in a sauna: yes
Been in a hot tub: yes
Ran away: yes
Broken someone's heart: yes
Cried when someone died: yes
Flashed someone: no
Cried in school: yes
Fell off your chair: yes
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: no
Saved MSN conversations: no
Saved e-mails: no
Made out with just a friend: yes
Used someone: yes, see above
Been cheated on?: yes
Done something you regret?: see 2 answers above
Favorite kind of pants: Clean
Favorite Number: one that wins the lottery
Boys Name: Tecumsah
Girls Name: Betty Boop
Animal: Lynx
Drink: Water
Sport: Baseball
Fast-Food Place: Let me know and I'll take the family...
Month: All
Band: the Who
Movie: The WInd
Breakfast: daily
Perfume: any not tested on animals
Cologne: any not tested on animals
Favourite cartoon character: no favorites
Who are your best friends: The voices, always the voices
Do you have a bf or gf?: :)
Best place to go for a date: anyplace where she is
Longest relationship: current
Shortest relationship: lasted one tank of gas
Outgoing or introverted?: depends on what is needed
Full Name: If you're reading this you know my name
Single or Taken: Taken
Sex: We do not speak of such things in public, or mixed company, or near the kids...oops, I guess that let the cat out of the bag!
Birthday: Once Per Year
Sign: One Way
Siblings: More than some less than most
Eye colour: Same
Shoe size: Same as in high school
Height: Medium
Country born: USA
Innie or Outie: When I was skinny an outie but as I have increased in mass an innie
What are you wearing right now: I am wearing everything right, right now
Where do you live: Here, unless I am there
Righty or lefty: I try to be independent
Any pets: Just the ants

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

It is now over.  The long-haired hard rocker look I had been going for is now a sad, lonely memory.  I am now 'proudly' showing off my well-defined widows' peak with the, slightly longer than, military brush-top look.

The only thing going for this new hair style is that is it still cheaper than $15

:)

Home Intervention

Well, the family had an intervention with me today

I will post more later, after I pull myself together.

Girl.Imp has found the editing function on the cell phone's camera

Woohoo! I get to give less blood!

Just got a call from the Dr. and was told that I was verging on too little iron in my blood as opposed to too much!! So, fewer visits for my leechings!

Questions from Wife.Imp to the little imps...

1. What is something mom always says to you
b.imp: “B.Imp..!”
g.imp: "Go to sleep!"
2. What makes mom happy?
b.imp: When I listen.
g.imp: Chocolate
3. What makes mom sad?
b.imp: if I move to another place.\
g.imp: Her child asking her to help her with her homework at 10:30pm
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
b.imp: “Gigil”-ing me
g.imp: Mom’s dancing
5. What was your mom like as a child?
b.imp: fat
g.impThin and pretty
6. How old is your mom?
b.imp: 41
g.imp: 41
7. How tall is your mom?
b.imp: 12 feet
g.imp: 4.5 feet
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
b.imp: play with me
g.imp: sleep and eat chocolate
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
b.imp: go to work
g.imp: go to work
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
b.imp: money
g.imp: talk show host
11. What is your mom really good at?
b.imp: being a mom
g.imp: speaking tagalog, and arts and crafts
12. What is your mom not very good at?
b.imp: loving the cat
g.imp: drawing cartoons
13. What does your mom do for her job?
b.imp: get money
g.imp: transfers money
14. What is your mom's favorite food?
b.imp: sinigang
g.imp: rice and chocolate
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
b.imp: loving me
g.imp: 2 cultures and awesome cousins
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
b.imp: batman, the brave and the bold
g.imp: Mrs. Test in Johnny test
17. What do you and your mom do together?
b.imp: talk
g.imp: watch movies
18. How are you and your mom the same?
b.imp: she talks American to me
g.imp: our hair
19. How are you and your mom different?
b.imp: she was born in the Philippines
g.imp: taste in clothing
20. What is your mom's favorite place to go to?
b.imp: the Philippines
g.imp: the philippines

Easter Egg Decorating

This Year's Birthday Cake for Wife.Imp (and I wish it wasn't true)

Perhaps I could have planned a little further in advance and maybe, just maybe, put a little more effort into the actual decorating...

Short and Sticky

went outside this morning and came to the conclusion that pigeons who are flying back to NYC from Mexico (where they drank copious amounts of water) flew directly over my car, possibly more than once...

I once told wife.imp that I would not care to take a pilgrimage across the deserts of the Holy Land...zero interest really.  However, after much discussion we have decided that a brief vacation in the Middle East, including sites in Egypt, is very doable...

Last year I made wife.imp's birthday cake and decorated and took pictures of it, and cut it up for the family, all before she really saw it.  This year I made wife.imps cake and did not check the items I was going to use for decorations and found that they were better off not used (however it was waaaay to late to shift gears) and this year she got to see it!  (however, girl.imp's photos of w.imp and her cake did not come out).

Yeah me!!

Welcome to all of our Foreign-based searches

I have not done this in a while, but I have noticed that very few google searches ending up here at the Playground originate within the bounds of the US of A.

Having said that I did find these search terms brought some foreign visitors over:

something in the bathroom that begins with the letter g : hmmm, just guessing but how about: Gel, Goobers, 'Gross! How did that get in the toilet?' (variants include: G--da---T! Who left the lid up?, Geezus! Somebody get me the plunger!')

wet dream pee : ummm, if your wet dreams include pee--- GROSS!
perfect world easter : Yes, that would be a perfect time to realize a perfect world.
imp’s drive info sidebar :  I'm not tellin'!
dress code for high school reunion : I don't know about your high school but Denim and Checkered Shirts with the 'ole shitkickers seemed in vogue at my school's last reunion...(well, the reunion before last because we had to cancel the last one because people thought $4o bucks a person was too steep)
mom & little oyb :  would that be mom and little boy?  I personally hope it was Oh Yes Baby! (I get that alot around here)
do me daddy : Please seek help soon...

I puh-laaaayed outside all daaaay today...

except for when I was inside in class this morning and this afternoon!

So said girl.imp.

It is 70sh here and I suggested she play outside this afternoon.  Instead, she is watching the educational death ray because the 20 minutes of outside play during lunch was juuuust enough to almost make her break out into a fine sweat.  And that much moisture loss cannot be tolerated!

Bad daddy!

Soccer is here!

I know...I Know...we tried this with girl.imp and had her leading the entire class singing Christmas Carols and picking dandilions by the last class.

BUT we are talking about boy.imp here.  Granted he is 1/2 of his mother, but he never sits still, walks when he can run or just stops vibrating.  He'll have to like running and kicking a ball, right?

Right!  He had a blast!  running in circles, kicking the ball, running on and off the field for his water...just what we had hoped for.

Then came that last trip to the sideline

b.imp:  I want to go home

wife.imp: why?

b.imp: i'm hungry...dad, can we go to Mc Donald's for lunch?

me: but we still have practice!  you need to get back on the field!

b.imp: But I'm huuuuuungry!  I want lunch!

me: It's 10:30!  Don't make me delete all the pictures I have been taking...

'effen' G

Girl.imp is home doing her homework today.

and by doing her homework, I of course, mean she is circling the house and carrying on a rambling conversation as she works off the sugar high from her afternoon snacks.

Her homework consists of writing sentences that begin with the letter 'F' and the letter 'G'.  Oh, and she has to write in cursive.

Her comment upon starting the assignment was:

"I hate effen G!"

or more correctly stated,

'I hate 'F' and 'G''

I like my version better.  It is more fun to repeat.

I can use the bathroom sink again!!

You might remember that I posted about one of girl.imp's recent science experiments.  The one where she scooped poo out of the toilet (using t.p.) and set it in the bathroom sink so she could break it open to see what was inside??

I might have also mentioned that since discovering the experiment (she saw what she needed then left the mess in the sink...and I found it) I have not been able to use that sink for anything.  If I had to use said facilities I would use the sink in the other bathroom or the kitchen to wash my hands.  I simply could not even muster the courage to turn the water on...

However, since getting the stomach flu a few weeks ago and finding that this particular bathroom was the easiest to run to, I have been able to use the sink again!!!

yeah me....

Another List

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
It must have been the Fall of '87. We just lost the last football game of the year to make our total 1 and 11. No, I really was not enamored with my teammates so I guess the last time I really cried (not for my parents benefit when trying to avoid chores) was in 2nd grade when nobody would partner with me for an in-class project.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
When I don't have to read it, yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Hot

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Who wouldn't? I mean I am nearly the center of the universe...and humble.

Did I mention the humbleness in my nature?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Me??

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No. But I still have all my fingers and toes and if you were around when I was growing up...

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not sober...and I do not drink.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Granola

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
what, and give them a chance to escape?

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Sweet corn or Cheese

13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE
Pretty people?

14. RED OR PINK?
define the situation where this choice is important?
* Cooked Beef
* Bleeding from horrible wounds

If given these choices, then Pink.

15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I cannot speak at least 7 different languages fluently

16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
The candy man...no! The popsicle truck driving guy...no, that girl that introduced me to the Lewinski, before it was a Lewinski...

17. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Sure why not...if you feel like it.

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Pants? Pants? I don't need no stinkin' pants!

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Cincy Reds replay of a game from 1999

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The White one...Nobody ever uses the white one so it is the only crayon in the box to not be used when all the others are broken and peeled...

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Let's shorten this list and say it is not, bad breath, stinky feet, dirty diapers or body odor

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
A telemarketer called...and probably won't be calling back.

23. WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO TOMORROW?
First I thought I would get out of bed and brush my teeth, then urinate
Or let's say urinate then brush my teeth
I might then eat breakfast, depending on how many NPR dreams I enjoyed
after that I will probably try to read part of the paper.
I tend to want to look at the weather first because if it is going to be warm, then I can take a light jacket with me when I go out, however if it is going to stay cold, then I will want only my coat...

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH
Big Ten Network Executives: This answer is just for you.

NOT WRESTLING!!

25. HAIR COLOR?
I still have the natural color I was born with.

26. EYE COLOR?
Sounds permanent...

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I can poke my finger in my eye and barely manage to squeeze out a tear now

28. FAVORITE FOOD?
Today?
This week?
Last Month?

Why do you keep trying to pigeon hole me?? Why? Why I say??

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
ooooh...I loves me my happy endings...

does that sound a little creepy to you too?

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Happy Times!

Funny Chinese movie

31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
When it's summer, then summer
When it's winter, then winter

32. HUGS OR KISSES?
BOTH

33. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Is anybody out there?

34. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
See above.

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I am reading 4 (or if I can find that Pratchett book then 5) books right now

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
the mouse

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
WIpeout, something on DIsney, Something on Nick, Something on Disney again...That Chinese movie...

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Stones

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Conscious?

40. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Third Rock from the Sun

Drying off after a shower

Just last week boy.imp was suffering from sinus/ear infections.  How did I diagnose this?  First he was shivering in a warm shower (and the doctor told me that earlier in the day).  Second he was shivering whilst I was toweling him off after the shower.

Figuring that he would stay cold, I did the only thing a caring dad would do for his freezing offspring.  I whipped out the hair dryer and sooner than he could sneeze he was toasty warm.  And I saved one towel from adding to the dirty clothes pile... 

Meme Madness

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . . nothing made up! You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Dennis
2. A four Letter Word: Deep
3. A boy's Name: David
4. A girl's Name: Dolly
5. An occupation: Diplomat
6. A color: Damask
7. Something you wear: Denim
8. A food: Dates
9. Something found in the bathroom: Diaper Rash ointment (yes, our imps have been out of diapers for a few years now…we probably need to clean out our medicine cabinet)
10. A place: Denver
11. A reason for being late: ‘damn alarm clock is set on the NPR station and instead of waking up I incorporated the news into my dreams…’
12. Something you shout: Dang me! Dang me! They oughta take a rope and hang me! High from the highest tree….! (ok, just ‘dang it!’)
13. A movie title: Deer Hunter
14. Something you drink: Diet Cola
15. A musical group: Def Leppard
16. An animal: Dolphin
17. A street name: Dearborne Ave.
18. A type of car: Duesenberg
19. A song title: Dock of the Bay
20. A verb: Deliver

Sometimes...Sometimes I just want to beat my head against a wall...

Girl.imp and her friend are downstairs watching t.v.

g.imp: dad?  dad? (rushing upstairs)

g.imp: dad, can you look up on google whether or not touching your breasts can give you cancer?

me: touching your breasts will not give you cancer. (why does this happen when I am home?) Cancer is a mutation in the genes in your body.

friend: yeah, did you know that leukemia is the rarest form of cancer?

me: uhuh (is this the last word on this subject?)

the imps move back downstairs...

friend: I knew that touching your breasts would not give you cancer.  I must have touched mine 1,000 times and I didn't get cancer.  I get headaches.

me: (????!!!????)

friend:  I have a headache right now...

Changes at the Playground

Well, my Inay (wife.imp's mom--Inay is tagalog for mother/mom/female parental unit) has been staying with us and an ongoing struggle has been waged, very politely, but waged.

First let me say that this is a variant on the struggle I had with with my SIL (and with wife.imp) when she stayed with us.  At some point last year I decided, 'No more 'effen yardsales!'  So, if an object annoyed me and had no immediate/future use that could be easily ascertained and I did not make it to the goodwill, off to the corner of the drive it went on trash day.

Well my wife's side of the family comes from a country where things are recycled until not even spit and glue can keep things together.  SO, either w.imp would chastise me about irresponsible disposal habits or the SIL would (sometimes quite literally) follow me to the trash deposited by the curb and drag things back to the garage.  She CLAIMED that she would have them shipped home if we no longer wanted/used them.  

Ok.  I let things stand with the stuff, until SIL left and left me a garage full of crap that I tried to throw away.  I can now repeat those words so famously uttered by our previous president, "Mission Accomplished!"

This brings us to the leftover battle I am waging with Inay.  I will let things sit for 1 week (maybe for 1 week plus days) in the fridge before I start eyeing the trash.  IF nobody is eating the food (and that happens) or we do not recycle it as a leftover dinner (this rarely happens) then it must go.

Unless Inay eats it first.  There have been times when I have told her that it has been a good effort but things really should go.  So it has become a race.  Will the oatmeal leftover from last Tuesday get eaten before trash day, or will I be cleaning leftovers out of the fridge on Wednesday night?

So far it is a clear draw...

I Have Been Tagged

Thank you Diana!

1. My favorite bumper stickers: As a matter of fact office, I do own the road! //
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray

2. My baby photo makes the dog walking backwards with its butt shaved a Brad
Pitt look-a-like

3. I am often at odd with myself: Store this junk just in case it can be useful or
throw this crap away because it take up too much space

4. As a younger lad, deadlines tended to amuse me

5. They still do.

6. Our family had its own time zone. There was the Eastern Time zone, Slow
time (re: how women view the actual time when they are supposed to leave the
house for a party) and our family's time (re: how long the scout troop/baseball
team/football team would actually delay departing on a road trip before I would
finally show up)

7. I will judge your character within 1 minute of actually meeting you. (I have a
brother who will make his decision based on the first words out of your mouth)

8. I have never been wrong

9. I tend to finish your part of the conversation in my mind before you actually
do finish speaking

10. This makes laughing at your jokes hard

11. I have been wrong

12. I do realize that I am not the center of the universe

13. No, really. I am serious.

14. I believe that all things are possible to achieve

15. Until you don't achieve them. Then they are impossible, impractical, and just plain not cool

16. I have often tried to discern the moment when political correctness took the place of common sense

17. I believe that with today's pc culture the phrase 'Suck it up' can cause more trouble than it helps

18. Suck it up!

19. Tattoos as a means to show how tough one is is so low class. Any damn fool can draw a picture

20. But the covering of ones body with the scars of life (like that tree branch that broke my fall--momentarily- when I was 5sh, or that scar on my arm from when I was wrestling my brother and he pulled my arm through the metal workings on the underside of the couch or the time I dropped that knife through the back of my hand)...

21. Everyone please meet any damn fool...

22. Redheads are the best (especially when it comes with green eyes and a slight Irish lilt)

23. Bottled red is worse than bottled blonde

24. Pundits (both liberal and conservative--moderates have too much self-respect) should be caged on and island somewhere. Guantanamo..?

25. I often wonder if Hollywood can/will actually release more than 2-3 films a year that are not remakes of an older movie

New Year Redux

Last February there was one weekend when everyone was sick and piled one on top of another on the couch...

That weekend arrived this year this past weekend...

Snow, Ice, Snow, Vomit, Snow...

With the latest winter storm (we 'suffered' through 4+" of snow and about 1/4" ice) the schools finally closed, allowing dad.imp (me) to sleep in.  One would have thought everybody would be able to sleep in.

However, girl.imp found out almost all the Justice League videos can be accessed by computer and she gets up extra early to get a solid 2 hours in before anybody else is awake.

Boy.imp caught the boomarang sinus infection and is suffering that again, as well as vomiting multiple times during the night.  We probably would have missed this except for 2 things:

1) He was sleeping with his grandmother and she woke up the second time he threw up.

2) She woke up the 2nd time because his movements while cleaning up the mess (he confessed to having cleaned up from his earlier bout of vomiting) woke her up.

Upon learning my boy was sick, but willing to clean up after himself, I grunted my acknowledgement of the news and went back to sleep.  After all, I really was not needed was I?

I got it! I got it! I got it!

So it had been relatively quiet all day.  Then girl.imp arrives home from school, rushes upstairs (front door left wide open) and announces to the world in general that she needs to use the facilities (door left wide open so that we can visually verify she did indeed lower the seat??)

So she decides that it is time to play with our epileptic cat (one seizure since adopting the wee beastie just before Christmas).  However no toy is immediately apparent so I offer the following advise.  

"Why don't you get a penny and slide it across the floor?"

Our cat loves playing with coins, rings...anything that slides on our floors.  Just this morning I found her chasing one of my rings under the dining room table and chairs.  The ring (according to my memory) had been resting on the bathroom sink...

So g.imp gets a dime and launches it across the room.  The cat launches herself across the room in pursuit and crashes into the hall closet's sliding doors, rebounds down the hall and ends up somewhere in the bowls of our bathroom.  G.imp then follows the cat in and cannot find the dime.  In the meantime the cat races past my feet and hides under the curtains.

me: have you checked her mouth for the dime?

g.imp: her mouth?

me: yep.  you might want to hurry before she swallows it...

g.imp: ahhhhhhhhhh! (racing toward the cat)

I love playing with the imps!!

At Least They Are Eating

For dinner the imps decided to add their own flair.

Tonight was taco night.  Usually they love the tacos.  Usually I have very little leftovers.  Usually I use hard shell tacos.

Tonight we went with the soft shells and cornbread.

Tonight I had almost all the taco meat and sundry sides left over.  However the imps at several cheesy cornbread tacos.

Thats right.  Tacos filled entirely with cheese and cornbread.

Cheese and cornbread only.

several.

my tummy still hurts with the site of this meal...

I Want the Eyeball!!

So we are eating fish for dinner tonight and girl.imp is vehemently opposed (it was not salmon) and boy.imp was not interested in anything but the eyeball.

After listening to him whine, cry, demand, wheedle, nag about not having the eyeball I took a knife and pried it out of the fish head and plopped it onto his plate.

At that point he happily squished the goo between his fingers and ate dinner (girl.imp decided that the fish was not as bad as she hoped and managed to finish hers so she could eat grapes for dessert).

Turns out I gave b.imp the eyeball goo  and not the actual eyeball.  However, his Inay pried it out of the fish after dinner and gave it to him as an after dinner toy.

Anyway, if y'all wanna' come on over for dinner, I'm sure we can find an eyeball or two to spare for you....

Tainted Love At the Playground

Wife.Imp: (calling home from her car after work)...

Girl.Imp: 'Sup...Nothin'...Yeah (This song-see below-is playing on the radio in the background)...I'm just shaking my hips for dad...

Me: (diving for the phone) Dancing!  She's just dancing to the radio!

New Year-New Snow-Same 'Ole Imps

I could have, I really really really could have taken my 'puter to the local coffee bin and spent an afternoon relaxing with my favorite caffiene/calorie overdose.  But no, I decided that I could go home.  Work on the dining room table until it was time to start dinner (which I am getting burned out with cooking on a nightly basis -Yea me!  Only 60-80 more years of that left).

Yessir, I was feeling pretty good about life.  The little shopping that needed to be done was complete and I was ready to get inside, hook up the music and...and there they were.  An extra pair of kids-sized shoes in the entranceway.  

Current plans are now past plans and future plans of 'Me Time' look bleak.  Especially when they insist on playing hide and seek in two rooms (Because our house is too small to let them run wild--and they are not going to be playing in the furnace room or my bedrooms!).

So here I sit, amid the slamming of doors (I have to let them play somewhere...right?) and ear-numbing rock (sanity!!)

Only 30 more minutes and I can start kicking people out....