wife.imp: hey dad! (yes, that would be me) you have to feel girl.imp's butt! It is FIRM!
I ignored this as wife.imp was probably overtaken by the urge to pinch girl.imp's cheeks. She has been doing this for 6 years, cheeks (face and bum), arms, legs. This is not a form of torture. It is just that she is overcome by a desire to..well the mom's out there should recognize this reaction to being near a baby. This uncontrollable urge is called gi-gil (guee-gueel --the 'u' is silent and the 'g' has the hard 'g' sound).
Two minutes later:
wife.imp: hey dad! YOU have to feel girl.imp's butt! IT is FIRM!
30 seconds later:
(because I was hiding in the kitchen trying not to get sucked into this conversation. Just how does one explain this to the judge? 'those bruises on her butt? No, sir! We would never think about beating our child. No, sir! We just pinch her butt constantly because it is so firm! You should try it! Come on. Right here, there is still some unblemished skin!)
wife.imp: he dad!! YOU really have to feel girl.imp's butt! IT is FIRM!...more like yours (now pinching my butt). boy.imp's is more like mine...more--fluffy. But girl.imp's is TIGHT!
I normally am not phased by wife.imp's desire to pinch the imps. She has these mad cravings every so often but when she pinched my pert bottom I knew the filial duties had been fulfilled for at least one more week...