Monday, September 04, 2006

Imps Standard Sleeping Arrangements...



Before I get into last night's sleeping arrangements, I have to relate why I believe boy.imp will be a grease monkey as he grows.

Saturday I was power-washing the front of the 'ole homestead (trying for one last 'buff and polish' prior to the winter grays) and I noticed a definite lack of b.imp. He was gone. So I took off on a fast trot and soon found b.imp in the garage in the process of dismantling my lawn mower. The actual, real, not a toy, uses gas and oil lawn mower. Fortunately he had only just removed the oil cap/dip stick...


Back to the aforementioned sleeping arrangements:

8:30 p.m. Both imps in bed in their separate bedrooms.
9:00 p.m. Both imps in our bed: Awake. Alert. Enthusiastic.
9:30 p.m. Both imps in our bed: girl.imp in her undies only and boy.imp in his diaper only. Awake. Alert. Enthusiastic.
10:30 p.m. Both imps in our bed but asleep.


LONG PAUSE

3:00 a.m. (yes, you read this right) moved both imps to g.imp's bed (both still nearly naked). 2 pairs of eyes watch me leave room. (sinking feeling in my stomach)
3:15 a.m. b.imp back in our bed, whining and dressed (with fresh diaper)
3:18 a.m. g.imp standing in our door, still only in her undies.
3:18:15 a.m. g.imp, b.imp, wife.imp and I crowded into our full-sized (again there is nothing wrong with your eyes here) bed.
3:20 a.m. I am in b.imp's bed, wife.imp, b.imp & g.imp share the master bed.
3:21 a.m. b.imp throws a fit and moves to his bed with me.
3:22 a.m. b.imp throws a fit and wants everyone to move to his bed.
3:25 a.m. g.imp moves to b.imp's bed with me and b.imp (wife.imp gets to sleep in peace)
3:45 a.m. I pass out
5:30 a.m. I wake up, freezing cold because g.imp and b.imp share all pillows and covers
5:30:01 a.m. I move to the couch with spare comforter--toasty warm at last!

We really, really, really need to learn how to use the door locks!!
There was one other note tonight. It seems the imps are hell bent on turning my garnet lockes gray and AFTER tonight's action, new bathing rules WILL be established:

For those of you with lots of siblings, do you remember the days in your youth when you shared the tub with one or more sibs?

Tonight might just be the last night our imps share a bath. Not only because g.imp (being 4 years the elder) is developing faster...well yes, entirely because she is developing faster. I washed both imps without an incident and had turned to grab the towels:

Me: Stand up and get ready to get out...
g.imp: not yet...not before I suck the milk out of your boobie
b.imp: (shrieks with laughter)

I turn and found g.imp firmly latched onto b.imp's right nipple




I think I need a drink. Something that has triple digits in front of the word 'proof' and somewhere in the description should be the words 'wood grain' or 'white lightening'

3 comments:

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

I don't think I ever shared a bathtub with my brother. Or maybe I was too young to remember.

I sure wouldn't want him sucking my boobie.

Mama of 2 said...

Oh Dennis in my slumpiness and barely blog reading...I have truly missed you and your take on the world.

I hope your sleeping arrangements have improved. As for the bathing together it was just me and my sister and honestly I don't recall if we did that and if we did it was most likely only at grandma's house. She was up for anything.

Diana said...

I was always stuck taking a bath with my two cousins (both female) one=1 year older the other=4 years younger.
We never sucked eachothers boobies.
but we would squirt shampoo in my younger cousin's eye on purpose!