Restaurants should supply tie-down straps with their seats

girl.imp's modis operendi at a restaurant is to: Sit, Kneel, Stand, Lean...repeat.

Then when she knows we have just about reached our last nerve and are about to strangle it, she hops up and finds parents of a newborn (there are always parents of newborns in restuaruants. I believe it is a law that there must be newborns in restaurants to complete that ambience necessary for Family Restaurants) and proceed to compliment the baby.

g.imp then trots back to us witha self-satisfied smile on her face. "Punish me now mom and dad! I dare you. Make me cry for those nice people who think I am the nicest, most well-mannered child they have ever seen! Go on! Dash their hopes!"

When g.imp sits down we usually offer her chips or lemonade. What else can we do?

Last night she added a new twist. She ran ahead to the Comfort Room and stood their waving at us. She needed mommy or daddy to wait outide the door for her. Sooo, daddy started over to man his post. Unfortunately another daddy felt the urge to utilize the facilities and beat me to the hall back to the Comfort Rooms. It was here that g.imp decided to jump out from around the corner and yell, "BOO!!"

Yes the poor man did jump and almost had a full-on bladder release!

We might never eat out again!