Monday, April 23, 2007

After School Intrigue

So, girl.imp gets off the bus today and completes her homework while watching the History Channel's presentation of the search for Soddom and Gamorah (sp?). yes, instead of Disney I decided that edu-programing on the Educational Death Ray was preferrable whilst I churned out a mile or so on the treadmill.

Where was I?
Oh, after completing her homework, she wants to show me how a) a dog pees, and then b) how 'I' pee.

I am assuming that with all the hip shaking and hand waving antics, 'I' is a general statement for the male gender.

Speaking of girl.imp's activities...Yesterday she asks me (without any preamble...and yes, we men need preamble like you ladies need foreplay. Juuuuust saying a little lead-in on some conversations would be appreciated!!)

girl.imp: daddy? why does mom have a lot of hair down there and I don't have any?
me: (I was unable to answer as my heart was trying to climb into my brain and strangle it before any coherent words could be formed. I was also having trouble breathing as I just swallowed some soda pop down the wrong tube in my throat)

We eventually worked out that both boys and girls eventually got hair 'down there' and left the rest to the vaguaries of the future where wife.imp might (hopefully) field the next set of questions.

I am starting to understand why my dad had this lifelong fascination with working in the garage or under cars during our own youth...


Mommy de Gallo said...

Hair down there....uh, yeah.
One of the first times Piko came into the bathroom with me after she started talking in sentences, she decided to announce to the whole bathroom, and possibly the entire restaurant lobby.
"MOMMY! You have a HAIRY BUTT!!!!"
Yes, thank you for noticing.

Maria said...

Liv has never said a word to me. Not a word.

Thank you, sweet jaysus.

But, I think if it does happen, I will just look shocked.

"Where did THAT come from??!!"

No, no. She will have enough to talk to her therapist about in twenty years. Why add this?

DD said...

Please lord, for the love of all that's holy, don't let my son ask this within hearing of any other human beings but his shell-shocked mother and father.

Thank you.

dennis said...

MdG: Ok, that's an image that I did not need. LOL

Maria: As I have noticed, you will not be able to escape these little conversations

dd: see above:)

Diana said...

That's why my son knows exactly how to get to the garage...for when these things come up I will point him in that direction...I refuse to have these discussions, and thank GOD i got a boy!

dennis said...

Diana: a good policy while it lasts! But how long will it last?

KC said...

Hiding under the car won't help that much, will it?

dennis said...

kc: not, but as I have been repeatedly told, 'it's the thought that counts'