Saturday, April 07, 2007

It's Been a Long Weekend and this is why wife.imp rocks!!

As you might remember, I do sometimes work out of the house and this weekend I managed to put almost 600 miles under my belt. On these long trips, I like to mull things over, make plans, imagine what could happen. Sometimes I actually think about the work I am out there trying to accomplish.

A large portion of the time I have managed to overcome writer's block. Other times I like to let my mind wander to the more basic and necessary aspects of life. Yep, I ponder sex.

SEX and Imagination, depending on the circumstances this can either be a man's best, wet dream or the cause of sever anxiety/bleeding ulcers.

I worked a dead-end (re: Fast Food. I did not really have any respect for Federline before his superbowl commercial --which was pretty damn funny--I have even less now because of his apology. Fast Food is not a job to aspire to folks. It is a job to Aspire From!) job and the guy that I worked with had no front teeth, was recently out of the Navy, and he and his wife GOT.IT.ON constantly. I mean the woman would be at home, nekkid, spread-eagled on the Bed before he got his key in the front door!

So, I occassionally try to imagine life without the imps. Just how revved up would our sex-life be if we did not have to worry about which imp was going to walk in on us in the middle of our latest 'wrestling' match? Just think, I come home stressed out from a long day on the road and she is ....

So what really happened is I got home just after wife.imp, who also worked most of the day at the office. However, where I can barely walk a straight line because I am coming off of my latest sugar high, she is cleaning up after dinner and making Carrot Cake, FROM SCRATCH. I went downstairs and let my imagination run its course which didn't take long as it is hard to focus when the kids are sitting on the floor in front of you watching 'That's So Raven' to unwind for a bit.

After, I managed to clear my head, I asked wife.imp if she needed any help (she was ironing clothes and instead of feeling 'groovy' I was starting to feel guilty). Perhaps if we wound things up early, we could adjorn to the bedroom...??

wife.imp suggested I could take the imps colored easter eggs and make egg salad.
Egg Salad? But aren't the imps going to want their eggs in the a.m.??

Wife.Imp then informed me that The Easter Bunny (me) will be substituting candy and chocolates for the hard-boiled beauties. Thereby confirming in the imps' minds the existence of the confectionary happy, holiday hare.

Now, I am imagining something useful...The smiles and laughter from the imps when they wake up and find the surprises waiting them!

Did I ever mention that Wife.Imp ROCKS!!


Mommy de Gallo said...

Wow! Wife.imp is pretty freaking spectacular. And your're pretty awesome not only for feeling bad about the work she was doing, but then ACTUALLY OFFERING TO HELP!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!! AND THEN FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT!!!! AAAAAA!!!!
Sorry for yelling, but that's just fracking amazing.

dennis said...

MdG: for the doubters out there, we were awakened this a.m. by the imps screams of:

I got candy! The Easter Bunny BROUGHT US CANDY!!!

Maria said...

But, why eat candy when you could have just told them that the Easter Bunny brought them egg salad sandwiches?

And, yeah...I TOLD you that the helping hand thing works. You give her a hand and then she'll reciprocate.

I honestly never thought about egg salad. We just ate hard boiled eggs at every frackin meal for a week...

dennis said...

I have found out that I make the BEST ES sandwiches!! (even if I do not have all the ingredients that I would prefer)

wayabetty said...

Gee, what a surprise...a man thinking about SEX?! Is that a new concept?!

dennis said...

betty: as you well know there are times (sometimes a direct result of our actions, sometimes not) that thinking about sex is really the only sex. At those times men can be heard talking longingly of stiff breezes, about how going to the restroom can be better than sex (this is something we only admit to if we are not getting any--and I might be blogging about Mr. Breeze tomorrow)...