Thursday, February 15, 2007

It is Time to Draw the Line in the Sand...

In a post Valentines Day euphoria, I stumbled across an image on the internet that froze soul, made my blood boil, caused me to question Man's future--No, Man's ability to produce Testosterone!

Is nothing for us men sacred?
1- farting in public is bad
2 - We cannot pick our noses (in public or private...)
3 - It is frowned on to pick our underwear out of those uncomfortable places it sometimes wanders into...
4 - Drinking and Driving? Gone
5 - Smoking? Gone
6 - Sports? Action-Drama Movies? Strippers? Gone. Gone. Gone.

Arranging the Comfort Room so that it is a Room of Comfort?
7 - Leaving the two footprints strategically placed on the floor of the shower to provide the optimum in both cleanliness and relaxation?
8 - Leaving that half-circle on the mirror that you wiped the mist off of (really the only part of the mirror that you use anyway)?
9 - Leaving the toilet paper stacked on the back of the toilet for ease of use?
gone. gone and gone.

10 - Your den? Now it's either a storage closet or a playroom.
11 - King of the Castle? Try the bastard-half son of the basement (or if you are really really lucky the garage).
12 - Captain of the Grill? Not likely! Possibly Cabin Boy of the Marinade...
13 - Masturbating? (Think this was under lucky 13 by accident?) Guess who ended up with the better toys? (ahem--Tupperware)

However, we put up with this constant stream of losses because we knew that no matter how many times we heard women proclaim: "We can do anything you men can do, but we can do it even better!" We knew that there was still one area that we reigned supreme. Even if we were occassionally messy, it was still our supreme mess.

Yes, until recently, Men were the BEST at standing up and peeing!! And could we keep this little corner of our world all to ourselves? Would this be the one, unapproachable, unerodable area left for Men to be Men???

Thanks to P-Mate we do not even have that small comfort:


Mama of 2 said...


I agree Dennis some things should remain men's territory.
Not to worry this mama/woman will not be venturing into the peeing while standing territory that men hold dear.

who thinks up these crazy things??

Mommy de Gallo said...

Huzzza....does creeped out dance.

This is even worse than the Femmi-John! Which they actually installed in the bathrooms at the National Zoo here in DC. Was I brave/foolish enough to use it? Noooooo.

Piko de Gallo asked why there are "fancy fountains" in the Men's bathrooms. I told her for the same reason there are "candy dispensers" in the Women's.

wayabetty said...

I have one word to ask WHY? Why the heck would any woman want to use this? Why? Why? I'm still puzzled! Unless you lost a bet but still, I'd rather run naked across the front lawn than using this tool! Ok, maybe not. But I did get your attention, right?!

dennis said...

Mo2: LOL

MdG: candy dispensers in the women's restroom?? Too funny

Betty: was this running nekkid during prenancy or post prenancy?

oh who am I kidding?? Nekkid woman running across lawn will be an attention getter either way! LOL

Diana said...


*Don't let my husband see this, he will buy one for everytime I say "Well, I can't just pee outside like you can- I DON'T HAVE A HOSE!"

Christina_the_wench said...

*shaking my head*

Sitting down and peeing is a luxury. Why would you want to stand? I have never been that drunk that I needed a funnel. (I don't think.)

OKDad said...

Yeah, but we can still aim a lot better.

I'm actually enjoying the thrill of manly control that comes from relieving from the standing position...the whole time I was potty training my daughters, I resorted to sitting for all my bathroom business -- didn't want to send them mixed signals.

Living with 1 bathroom has it's challenges.

Chaos Control said...

Ick! Ick! ICK!

Don't worry - I can't imagine what type of woman would ever consider wearing one of these. Maybe an astronaut? :-)

Pageant Mom said...


Carla said...

I can practially feel the creeping warm sensation of urine running down my legs right now. That had to have been invented by a man.

dennis said...

carla, no man would do that to his brothers :)
It was a woman who invented this device. (evil laughter here)

radioactive girl said...

That is so crazy! I would never ever use that!