Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"...Today Was My Most Awfulest Day In School Ever...!!!!"

This is the cry I got after getting the imps home after school.

By the way, last week girl.imp had strep, today boy.imp was diagnosed with MAJOR sinus infections and my eyes have been itching and my throat is sore...

I say this because both imps are cranky and not 10 minutes after getting home I hear boy.imp wailing.

It seems g.imp lost her temper and 'squeezed' b.imp's back. So daddy leaps into action and wheedles the info then 'equally' punishes everyone in the room.

More wailing, gnashing of teeth, rending of clothing then IT happens.

What is IT?

Gym Class!

It was the bane of my youth. Really dennis? But..

Well, for 3 months of the year it was the bane of my youth. Our gym teach was also the wrestling coach. I love sports! I do not love wrestling. Never have. Never will.

For three months of the year, in gym, we wrestled. I just stopped dressing. No doctor's note. No parents note. No gym clothes. Upon being threatened with failing gym, I went home and informed my mom that I might fail and explained. She allowed me to have my way, 'as long as I truly understood the ramifications of my actions.'

Back to g.imp. She.Hates.Gym. She.Hates.Rrunning.Sweating.Sports-In-General. Today was even worse because the 'better' students were pushing her in line and running her down (but not loud enough for the teacher to hear).

After this confession (and the fact that the gym teacher witnessed nothing), I comforted her.

me: hey, as long as you are trying then you tell them that you are doing your best and to leave you alone. if they don't like it, tell them they are the ones who should leave the line.
g.imp: but they might tell 'blind-as-a-bat-and-deaf-as-a-knob' teacher! and then she'll call you!!
me: Great! I want her to call me! If you tried to do your best and your classmates harrassed you and then your teacher wants to call me?? I'll go to school that day (or if I am too far away the next day)!!

And I'll bring wife.imp's Dalek with me! I'll go through the halls to confront this teacher while the Dalek screams, 'Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!'

Yes, I grew up in redneck kuntry. And be damned if I'll not use every tool to hand ifn' I hafta go to bat for my young'uns!!

mess with imps and you'll get 100% of me in your face!

(curiously, as I type this I told b.imp to clean up the mess of crayons on my floor, instead of picking up his crayons (and boy.imp is freakishly neat) he is opting to strip all the paper off of each one then he throws everything away)


Pageant Mom said...

Do you mash buttons as well?? What's next grits n'spam? (which is really good with lots of butter on the grits and the spam fried with a side of eggs....)

dennis said...

Pageant Mom: Actually around here the favored breakfast dish (one that I do not make) is Spam and Eggs with Rice (banana ketchup is a desired side sauce).

Pageant Mom said...

Okay, now I have to ask - what the heck is banana ketchup?

dennis said...

pageantmom: per wife.imp:
It's Yum-Yum!! It's ketchup. and it's made from bananas. It's sweet. It's as close as you can get to ketchup that's made from...well bananas! It also has occassional little black seeds in it!!

Mama of 2 said...

Never too keen on gym myself...however I did what was needed. Little Man is a gym kind of kid so glad for that. Girlie Girlie well not so sure about her just yet.

I think you gave g.imp good advice about her classmates and gym. You are building a strong little girl there. Good for you.

Mama G said...

Gym classes can be so tough for kids. Good for you, showing her how to hold her own and stand up for herself!

Mommy de Gallo said...

Mmmmmmm...spam and rice.