Thursday, March 22, 2007

aaaaaaaah, Spring is in the air and it is time for--

--Antisceptic and bandages!

Yes as Winter wanes and wild, wonderful, winds blow in the spring showers, the imps will be out of doors, playing, running, climbing, jumping...falling.

In the spirit of the scraped knees, elbows, faces, bloody noses, sprained ankles that will crop up across the blogoshere like crabgrass, I thought I would list a few of the minor, little injuries acquired in my pre-teen (teen injuries require another post) years that promted a certain hospital staff to question whether or not the parentals were abusing us (the answer was NO and you shall soon see why).

1 - as an infant, I managed to kick over my high chair striking my head on a floor grate. At the hospital I had 4 stitches (without medication because the doctor told my dad that it would take it longer to numb the area that it would to complete the stitches. Dad told the doctor to go ahead and let him know when it was done. He was going to the lobby to get away from the screaming).

2 - I was probably no more than 4 years old when I fell out of my first tree. I barely remember this tree. I can remember sleeping in the branches. I do not remember falling out of it. I have a 3" scar on my side from said fall - no hospital visit. (I climbed another tree when I was in my teens and stepped on a dead branch and fell 10 feet onto a pile of wood - also no hospital visit).

3 - Running + Yellow Jacket nests in the ground next to our neighbor's house = PAIN

4 - Did you know that if you hold your breath with a heavy weight on your chest you will pass out? Neither did our babysitter. I woke up with my head in the bathroom sink and the babysitter slapping the sh#@ out of my face.

5 - It is hard to believe, really, really hard to believe that if one were to ride a bicycle full-tilt into a curb that one would NOT achieve a wheelie! I mean, the math is there to say that it IS possible. I also found out the math also said it was more probable that one will flip head over heels OVER the handlebars and land face first on the ground chipping one's teeth in the process.

So, moms and dads, my advice is to store large bottles of bactine and love, cause your little one's will probably need both!!

12 comments:

Pageant Mom said...

I'm so glad firstborn is not very adventurous and is a bit of a wimp when it comes to dangerous games... (selfish parenting? most likely LOL)

It seems like you were lucky to make it through puberty!!!

dennis said...

PM: make to puberty! Through puberty was more of the same, but in different and painful ways!!

creative-type dad said...

You do realize it's a miracle your even alive right?

Mommy de Gallo said...

Bactine! The balm of youth.
My one and only hospital visit was courtesy of my dad who slammed my toe in the car door when I was 5. Ouch.
I love it when Sarge inventories his scars and injuries. I'm just weird that way.

DD said...

I guess this partly explains why your vertebral column is able to do the wave when you sneeze.

This also highlights the fact that my childhood was completely dull in comparison (except for the two times I really thought my 90 lbs was enough to stop a horse from dragging me across the yard).

Diana said...

#4- I had no idea. I should try that just to see....LOL!

#5 I have a mean scar on my leg from twenty-some odd stitches I needed because I thought that trying to stop a bike with my foot (no brakes) in a puddle on a curve while a cement truck was coming would NOT send me INTO the puddle and have the brake lines go into my leg when the bike fell on top of me...

Yeah, Dennis, we had good times as kids huh? My mother was sure DCYF would be knocking on our door weekly with me. Thing is: my son took after me...

dennis said...

Thing is folks, I thought I had a pretty boring childhood. I was going to inventory my teen injuries...well top 5, but that might be too much to ask y'all to believe.

Carla said...

Have you considered just wrapping them in bubble wrap, with little holes for appendages and breathing?

Undercover Angel said...

The yellow jackets thing made me smile. Last summer my youngest son who was 8 at the time, and my step son who would have been 5 decided to knock down a hornets nest - both were stung hundreds of times and had to go to the emergency room. Thank goodness they weren't allergic and were both fine. I'll never have to worry about them disturbing any nests again...

dennis said...

U Angel: Kudos on the kids not being allergic!! That many stings would just scare the bejeezus out of me!

Carla: my imps have only had minor scrapes. Bubble wrap has not really been needed--yet!

Diana: you sure we never met in an ER ward??

dd: want to change childhoods? two years even?? Three maybe?

MdG: you're lucky. The day LB slammed the door on my hands -I was chasing him up the basement steps and slipped and both hands were on the floor when the door shut - the door ripped every nail off of every finger but 1 thumb.

No, no hospital visit for me. As dad said 'well, the bleeding's already stopped and the nails will grow back...'

Tony: I am very cognizant of that fact.

wayabetty said...

I'll be storing lots of drugs...FOR MYSELF!! Tony's right, it's a wonder that you're alive and to tell about it too.

dennis said...

betty: I did not even touch on the 2 cars that hit me, the stick that almost went through my neck, leaping off of a klondike-style sled (3 times)that was hurtling downhill toward trees or ditches, rolling a car at 65 mph because I fell asleep, driving another car into a ditch because I was driving too fast on gravel and denying a gang (bloods or crips - I cannot remember anymore) slices of pizza while they drank and we hit on their 'lady' friends.

There might be other incidents but those leapt to mind first!