Boy Scout Training- Not the Merit Badge kind either

Yes, I learned how to tie knots in the boy scouts...

Oh, before we get to knots there are several things I learned in Boy Scouts that probably should never be repeated (some of these I did participate in and some I was blissfully 80+miles away and only heard about it 2nd hand). These are also things that tend to make parents not allow their children to join the troop and rightly so:

Things I was present for but did not participate in:
- Snipes do not exist (however if you've hacked off the older scouts you might find yourself invited on a snipe hunt and tied to a tree for several hours about 1 mile from the camp)
- Tossing rotten eggs, burning hot egg shells or playing chicken with an ax (one unlaces the boots and spreads the shoe laces as far from the boot as they can then the other party paces off 5 steps, takes a sharpened ax and trys to cut the shoelace as close to the boot as possible--without hitting the boot or the person attached thereto - I will admit that this was an ill conceived game and one that was only mentioned to me once. It was never played after that--talked about yes. Played no.)
- Imagine that another troop messed with one of our younger scouts. Not a good idea. Because at night our older scouts would visit the offending party's campsite and would drop the tents in said campsite, grab the tent poles and beat anything that moves...

Things I was present for and did participate in:
- melting plastic milk cartons over the flames of a fire makes for very pretty flames (and also very toxic fumes- this practice that was quickly discouraged)
- it takes less than 10 seconds for a box of 5oo kitchen matches, once lined up, to burn neat diagrams into the tops of picnic tables - this occurred several times when I was not on the campout and once when I was.
- did you know that if you knock a hornets nest out of a tree with rocks, the little dears will chase you up to 1/4 of a mile. However if you are able to zip yourself into a tent before the swarm arrives then you'll be ok. It is advisable (i was later informed) to warn the people who were previously enjoying a relaxing morning, that something unpleasant was about to happen.

Things that happened when I was not present:
- During hunting season, many many hunters park their cars on the shoulders of the road. Sometimes passersbys might include boy scouts (you know, from the troop that had more street cred than most gangs). The cars might find themselves with 4 flat tires and might also be missing spark plug wires-...Might because a hunter might be leaving early and spot some of the felons-in-training and decide to introduce them to the barrel end of the Smith & Wesson that had been resting on his shoulder. I was told that one of the scouts dropped on his hands and knees and begged for sympathy while his co-horts scattered and ran for the woods.
- Picture fires, unopened cans of corn and a stopwatch. Explosive entertainment, so I was told.

How to tie a square knot:
- grasp the shoestring (one in each hand) cross the left shoestring over then under and through the right shoestring and pull snug.
- then make your bows and cross the right bow over then under and through the left bow and pull snug.