Ring Ring (oddly enough the Ring Tone on my cell phone is actually a telephone ring sound - also please take special note of the picture below. Can you guess where today's post is heading?)
me: Dennis speaking
: This is secretary at (your child's school)
(you will note that my daddy radar is not fully formed at this time as it was AFTER 2:30 p.m. and I did not stop to consider why my imp's school would be calling me AFTER school was out for the day)
sec.imp: I am calling you because g.imp missed her bus today and...
me: she what?
sec.imp: She missed her bus. I tried to call...
me: she missed her bus?
sec.imp: Yes, she missed her bus. However she is in our office right now. I tried calling your wife but she did not answer. Can you come and pick her up?
me: uhhmmm, I'm actually at work (on the other side of creation today and you will be putting your own kids to bed before I can make it to your offices). Can I make some calls and call you back in 5-10 minutes? Yes? Can I have your number? and what was your name again? Thank you.
So hoping for the best I called wife.imp and miraculously found her at her desk.
wife.imp: Hello (wife.imp) speaking...
me: hey! g.imp missed her bus and you need to go pick her up at the school's offices.
(notice I did not butter her up with 'Hi Honey! How are you doing? How's your day? Are you busy right now? --Nope. Go for the jugular before they realize what hit them. Bad news is not any more welcome if it is delivered slowly or if it is delivered with cold, cruel efficiency. and yes, I am a grade-A ass for delivering the news in this manner)
wife.imp: she what?
me: missed her bus. She is at the school's office and here is the name and number you need to call.
What surprised me most about today's events was that g.imp FORGOT.SHE.WAS.RIDING.THE.AFTERNOON.BUS.
after being grilled all weekend on bus number, bus driver name, drop-off address, bus number...