Remember the Phrase 'A Penny for Your Thoughts'?

Let's face it, people are waaaaay too soft on waiters/waitresses (you might call them servers but I am going old school here). As a former food establishment monkey, I have less pity than most on those who underacheive with my food orders.

I actually sit down with an imaginary stack of bills in my head and start subtracting from the moment the WAITer first approaches. My rules are inviolate. I rarely make exceptions. Yes these poor slobs barely make $2/hour. But a good server at Ponderosa can pull down $75-150/night without breaking a sweat. Besides, I am supposed to act grateful and part with my hard-earned money when service is bad?

I.THINK.NOT!!


SO:

the wife.imp took the imps out to dinner to Max and Erma's arriving shortly after 7 p.m. and are seated next to a birthday party with tons'o'kids. Granted the party probably had one or two full-time servers but if memory serves usually more than two WAIT staff are employed at one time.

So wife.imp's slo' fuse starts when no-one approaches/introduces themselves as their 'server' for the night and the hostess takes the drink order (lemonade for the kids and a coke for the wife.imp). Ten fifteen minutes later a WAITer (yes the break was finally over!) arrived with a soda.

WAITer moron: I'm sorry. I'll be right back with the lemonades. Here's your soda. We don't have coke, will a diet pepsi be ok?
wife.imp: NO! I'll have an iced tea without lemon.
moron: You don't want the soda?
wife.imp: NO! I'll have an iced tea without lemon.

A few minutes later the imps' corn dogs arrived. According to wife.imp the dogs were not only heavily breaded, but they were extra salty as well. The boy.imp was getting somewhat boisterous as no drinks had yet arrived.

The wife.imp was on the verge of absconding with the lemonade from the drinks area when she heard the following:

moron1: where's the lemonade
moronclone: we're out.
moronclone: don't look at me, I made it last time
moronclone: It's not my turn

wife.imp: Hey forget the lemonade! Can I just get waters!

After another few minutes of no attention, the wife.imp dragged a poor WAITer over who unfortunately made eye contact.
"can I just get my check since my food has not arrived?"

Of course whom should appear? A food ladened WAITer !

The wife.imp got no discounts and actually left a 10% tip. Although she left a "scathing" note: "too bad. I typically leave at least 20%"

Back in my day the common response to such louse service was a max of ONE CENT. Thinking on this story as I sit here typing, I honestly do know know where to direct my frustration. The restaurant for such appalling service or the w.imp for actually leaving any $$.

Perhaps I can find someone to give me a Penny for my thoughts...?