Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Remember the Phrase 'A Penny for Your Thoughts'?

Let's face it, people are waaaaay too soft on waiters/waitresses (you might call them servers but I am going old school here). As a former food establishment monkey, I have less pity than most on those who underacheive with my food orders.

I actually sit down with an imaginary stack of bills in my head and start subtracting from the moment the WAITer first approaches. My rules are inviolate. I rarely make exceptions. Yes these poor slobs barely make $2/hour. But a good server at Ponderosa can pull down $75-150/night without breaking a sweat. Besides, I am supposed to act grateful and part with my hard-earned money when service is bad?

I.THINK.NOT!!


SO:

the wife.imp took the imps out to dinner to Max and Erma's arriving shortly after 7 p.m. and are seated next to a birthday party with tons'o'kids. Granted the party probably had one or two full-time servers but if memory serves usually more than two WAIT staff are employed at one time.

So wife.imp's slo' fuse starts when no-one approaches/introduces themselves as their 'server' for the night and the hostess takes the drink order (lemonade for the kids and a coke for the wife.imp). Ten fifteen minutes later a WAITer (yes the break was finally over!) arrived with a soda.

WAITer moron: I'm sorry. I'll be right back with the lemonades. Here's your soda. We don't have coke, will a diet pepsi be ok?
wife.imp: NO! I'll have an iced tea without lemon.
moron: You don't want the soda?
wife.imp: NO! I'll have an iced tea without lemon.

A few minutes later the imps' corn dogs arrived. According to wife.imp the dogs were not only heavily breaded, but they were extra salty as well. The boy.imp was getting somewhat boisterous as no drinks had yet arrived.

The wife.imp was on the verge of absconding with the lemonade from the drinks area when she heard the following:

moron1: where's the lemonade
moronclone: we're out.
moronclone: don't look at me, I made it last time
moronclone: It's not my turn

wife.imp: Hey forget the lemonade! Can I just get waters!

After another few minutes of no attention, the wife.imp dragged a poor WAITer over who unfortunately made eye contact.
"can I just get my check since my food has not arrived?"

Of course whom should appear? A food ladened WAITer !

The wife.imp got no discounts and actually left a 10% tip. Although she left a "scathing" note: "too bad. I typically leave at least 20%"

Back in my day the common response to such louse service was a max of ONE CENT. Thinking on this story as I sit here typing, I honestly do know know where to direct my frustration. The restaurant for such appalling service or the w.imp for actually leaving any $$.

Perhaps I can find someone to give me a Penny for my thoughts...?

7 comments:

Mama of 2 said...

I so agree with you. I honestly don't know what I would have left in a tip for service that horrible. I know I certainly would have been seeking out the management and giving them a piece of my mind. And most certainly wouldn't be going back to that establishment and also making sure all of my friends knew what a horrible place it was to eat.

I say your idea of 1 cent was a hell of an idea. It would certainly drive the point home.

Blog-o-licious said...

I would leave a penny AND tell them their service sucked. The other day we went to home depot, bought about $500.00 worth of stuff and the girl at the check stand said NOTHING to us, but did clip some coupons for her grocery shopping for later. I told her she could have at least said thank you to us.. grrrr

Diana said...

I wouldn't have eaten the food...I wouldn't have paid the bill....and if some idiot comes to me offering me a DIET anything when I asked for a regular soda, heads would roll.
Sorry I have issues with bad service. I was in customer service for almost ten years and let me assure you no one ever complained about me. Bad customer service is the worst thing around.

Pickle's Papa said...

I am a good server's wet dream and a bad server's worst nightmare. I tend to drop civility the second I discover that anyone does not have my best interest at heart.

I am certain I have been the end of several jobs of incompetant wait-makers across Northern Ohio. I am the guy that will call for the manager.

I once belittled a waitress (not even ours) that was standing next to our table complaining about the crappy tip she just recieved. i explained to her that if this was any sign of her professionalism - I am not at all surprised by the tip.

I'm that guy.

dennis said...

Mama of 2: Yes and we have managed to spread the word too! LOL Thank you.

blog-0: Man! I'm going to have to boycott Home Depot now too!! Ok, I might not actually boycott, but I promise to think disruptive thoughts whist shopping there!

Diana: Dude! You certainly know how to harsh someone's high! You and Pickle's Papa must be locked in on the same wave-length!

Pickle's Papa: LOL! See comments for Diana above!

Mama G said...

Back in college, we too used to leave a penny for horrible service ... underneath an overturned glass of water. Mean, I know - but sometimes revenge for awful service can be sweet.

dennis said...

Personally we have been ticked off enough to write to the corporate office--office of the CEO on a few occassions. At least twice management has been relocated/retrained shortly after our letter. I only mention this because as bad as the service was, corporate had to be receiving lots of complaints...I am merely happy to be that proverbial straw!