Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I was comfortably resting alone in bed (the wife imp was on her way to work) when g.imp came running into the room and tried to apply a 'Flying Half Nelson' while screaming, "I AM NAKED WOMAN!"

Ladies two things a guy does not need in the morning: 1) Over fifty pounds of anything landing on his unprotected (ahem) 'mid-section', 2) It also does not help hearing that mass of weight proclaim to the world at large that she enjoys running around nekkid! (are we raising another Pam Anderson here?)

On a brighter note, b.imp is using the potty sans hysterics! Of course he is being bribed with semi-sweet choc. morsels.

I missed the a.m. window to take the imps out to play. I am not awfully anxious to take them out in the near 100 degree afternoon. And since g.imp has had her t.v. privileges revoke--again!--we are now spending the day dusting, sweeping and generally trying to rearrange the clutter.

What did g.imp do to so soon after regaining her t.v. time?

Well, the imps were being babysat yesterday and g.imp let loose with the following compliment toward our sitter:
"blah blah blah, you are a big butt!"

Since we are trying to teach the imps to show the proper respect, our sitter sent g.imp to her room. And it would have ended there, except that when the wife imp came home g.imp refused to work through a 'play-by-play' accounting of what got her into trouble. After much prying and some pleading, the wife imp started revoking t.v. privileges. When she took away day four's t.v. time, g.imp managed to 'remember' what was said.

So the end result is that I am not allowed to put anything on the 'hypno-tube' this week. I really think it is time to find a place in the yard for a veggie garden so the imps can spend time 'workin' the dirt' as punishment so daddy can turn on the electronic babysitter if he wants some 'free' time.


Diana said...

I have just discovered that the new white chocolate M&M's will be used as my bribery in the potty training business. He liked the ONE I gave him yesterday, so much that he would do anything I said. Oh, the power!

dennis said...

Yes the power of chocolate, something they will take with them their entire lives...

Unfortunately for the imps the chocolate feeding frenzy will disappear when the potty training is complete...
(insert evil laugh here!)

Rebecca said...

Big Butt, huh?...LOL! I KNOW you have to teach them proper respect, but honestly, sometimes its HARD to keep from laughing at some of the things the little cherubs can blurt out. When my son was about 3 years old (he is 21 now), the manager of a restaurant that we frequented came over to say "Oh how cute", and to hand him a lollipop. My b.imp blurted out,
"Thanks. You idiot!" I was absolutely mortified!!!!! Of course, its funny as heck now. Hahahahahahahaha

dennis said...

Yes, when I was but a toddler mother took me to the local library (this was in WVa and an almost all white--at the time--community). In the library was what mother calls the biggest man she ever saw, black or white (hint: he was black).

I immediately pointed at him and in the loudest voice I could must I shouted: Mommy, is that man chinese?

Mama of 2 said...

my hubby can relate to 50 pound objects flying at his unprotected midsection....only difference is ours is normally fully clothed. LOL!