Monday, July 10, 2006

Foot (HOOF) In Mouth Disease

Having lived through 12 years of marital bliss, I took some time recently to reflect on how socially inept I am (therefore what a miracle it is that I am married)

Things that actually came out of my mouth (or I put in writing and thought, 'yeah, that's ok')

5 - w.imp (for wife imp).
- I am still waiting for the frying pan upside the back of my head

4 - "It's fine. However it would be better if you gave (wife imp) more money so I could stay at home full time."
- this was uttered at a party in the house of my wife imp's department head after said boss asked me: '...How do you like being a full-time, at-home dad?'
- Yes, I was sober.
- I really have no excuse.
(did I mention that this was also the party at which I learned that 'bring a bouquet of flowers' means more than one pathetic handful...)

- This is only the 2nd in the list. It gets worse. Much much worse...

3 - $143.00.
- Yes, when petitioning the US government for a Fiancee visa for the wife imp, I actually stated this amount as my current savings account total.

I hear that my Father-In-Law still has a hearty laugh over this...

2 - 'Get on I-70 and go west'
- This piece of sage advice was given to the wife imp 2 weeks after she moved to the Buckeye State from the Philippines as she was preparing to leave my parents house to go to the capital city for a job interview.
- No, she had never been.
- Yes, my head was resting in its usual position - somewhere up my ass.

1 - 'That's got to be the ugliest baby I have ever seen.'
- I was 17.
- I was at my then girlfriend's house.
- It was her niece
- her entire family was present
- I lived to see my 18th birthday
- I developed a very intense belief in a Living God that day...

As I have not followed the 'official' format of a MEME (and have never been tagged - wah!) I will leave it up to you, BUT:
- What are the five worst social faux pas that you can personally claim?


mothergoosemouse said...

#2 - which capital? The state capital (in which case it would depend where in OH you live), or the nation's capital (in which case you're just flat out wrong, no matter where in OH you live).

#1 - my mother advised me that no teenage boys care for babies. I was disappointed that my boyfriend wasn't as enamored of my new cousin as I was.

Let's five faux pas...

I will have to give this one some thought.

dennis said...

the drive at the time (and this makes me look really reaaally bad) was 1 hour just to get to Columbus. I think the interview was on the SW side which adds approx 30 more minutes to the drive.