One would think I could learn...

Things that I really need to learn as an At Home Dad:

1- Remember that b.imp is still in his diapers.
I decided that we would not hang out in the 'ole homestead today. Being as warm and sunny as we have not seen in recent memory, I thought it would be nice to take the imps out. Go to the library, do some shopping, perhaps go to a park.

We made it to the library and g.imp noticed 'Story Time' was in full swing. We had no schedule to keep so we slipped in to listen. Three things were very, big-pimpl'ishy obvious:
1- There was only one other man (with child) in the room.
2- Most of the mommies came in pairs (even to Story Time at the local library? I really need to make more friends)
3- Every other parent in the room had a diaper bag! At first, the fact I clued in on this confused me. I have a diaper bag too. In fact, we have two of them. The backpack diaper bag is in b.imp's room. The other bag...was not in my hands and as I thought back not in the car either!
No, I left the bag on our dining room table. So it was a short stop at the library and then back home and instead of the park we decided to go watch our babysitter who was finishing up her last day at Cheer Camp. Yes, g.imp really, really wants to be a cheerleader (thank you Kim Possible)!

2- When taking an afternoon trip, remember that the imps will tend to nap.
Yes, once more we reached our afternoon destination only to find that the imps were snoring away in the back seat. I tried everything; clapping my hands, slapping their legs/tapping their cheeks (wouldn't do to have someone passing the car and 'seeing' me 'beating my kids senseless' in the parking garage!).

Of course just about the time I give up, the imps wake up and we really do have to make the trek from the car to the cheer site.

3 - When on an afternoon outing, Snacks are somewhat necessary
Skipping forward past many boring events we arrived at cheer camp and watched as the cheer teams strutted their stuff. First I want to apologize to anyone who was ever a cheerleader or ever dated a cheerleader.

But how many times can someone be expected to watch the same routines without their brain hemorrhaging in self-defense? The back flips and back somersaults--nice athletic moves. However they could not hide the fact that every single school (some with as many as three teams) gave the same, exact cheer! We made it for almost 45 minutes, saw our babysitter's cheer teams (they must have done something special because their ovations were LOUD) and then left.

4- Do I trust or Do I not trust what the imps tell me?
On the way home the imps were begging for something to eat and to be fair it was after 5 p.m. So I promised them milk shakes if they promised to eat their dinner. Everyone was happy.

Until g.imp decided to end the conversation with:
'Results might vary.'