Good Ideas Gone Bad

These are usually ideas that women come up with and let men handle...

But there are those times when I have a brainstorm:

Like trying to get b.imp used to the idea of Potty Training.

Why not let him into the restroom with me while I use the potty. It has been years since I missed the bowl and 'flooded' the floor. And b.imp likes to do things daddy does:

1- Shave
2- dress himself
3- go to work

No. 3 above consists of him hugging and kissing us goodbye, announcing he is going to work, and then climbing into his foot-powered, plastic, Flintstones car and cruising down the driveway toward the road. It also consists of me testing my ability to survive high-level spikes in my blood pressure and followed by a brisk sprint.

But back to the restroom:
So I casually go to the bathroom and leave the door unlocked, in case b.imp wants to see what 'big boys' do...
(get your minds out of the gutters ladies...but the answer is, of course, yes!)

So b.imp wanders in and the following ensues:

me: so do you think you want to use the big potty?
b.imp: no. Can I see closer
me: umm, ok (closer means I have to do a shuffle dance to keep him from climbing right onto the edge of the bowl)
b.imp: what's that?
me: (CENSORED- this is a family blog after all)
b.imp: why is the water yellow? Can I touch? (it really is amazing the reach a two-year-old has...)
me: no! Time to go! (Christ! what a shitty idea!)

Ok, can you imagine telling a two-year-old that he/she/it cannot touch something and the imp actually listened??

Me either.

Fred Astaire never danced so fine a line...

By the way - it is 10p.m. on a Sunday night and my show 'The Dead Zone' is on. Guess whose imps are both still awake???

So we are watching Ballroom dancing competitions on PBS because g.imp loooooves to see them dance!!

oh joy...